Goner
by SMAK101
Summary: You're alone. He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself that the Nogitsune was no longer there, or if he was telling himself that with out a doubt, he deserved, and was, alone.
1. I'm a goner

He stared out his window, his eyes resting on the sight of the bright cresent moon, hanging in the lonely starless night. The darkness enclosed around it, a blanket of deep blue and black.

He couldnt help but sympathize with the large rock that caused his friends such agony once a month.

Lonely and solemn in the vast emptiness, drowning in the darkness that surrounds it. Like him.

The darkness that is deep inside, enclosing around him, suffocating and choking him, making it impossible to ignore. Not that he could, it clung to him like a second skin. Surrounding all his thoughts and actions, his feelings and emotions, all of them tinted by its decimating corruption.

He had his long gangly arms wrapped around his long knobbly legs, his boney knees pulled to his chest, his body curled into a ball.

He'd lost weight. His legs were too skinny, you could see his veins like snakes under his pale milky white skin. His face sunken in, cheecks like a skeleton, eyes sunken and surrounded by a deep color that could actually rival the space around the moon he was fixated on.

That's what happens when you stop eating, you start to lose weight, hair, complexion, enamel on your teeth, strength; emotionally and physically. A simple knock to the shin can result in ugly green and yellow bruises. A simple paper cut can result in a trip to the nurse for a bandage.

He didn't care though. It didn't matter, nothing did. He embraced the pain, it made him feel not so void. It showed him that he was really there, and not just some figment of his imagination.

He raised a hand and started to count his fingers. One two three... even then, he wasn't sure what's real and what's not. Pain meant material, which meant reality, which meant not his imagination. He didn't know what was a dream and what was reality. He was getting to the point that he almost didn't care. Either way it wasn't looking good for him.

After the Nogitsune was defeated, he'd never been... right. He wasn't the same as he was before. No one was actually.

Allison and Aidens deaths were a hard blow to all of them.

Chris was handling it surprisingly well for a man who had lost his daughter. He helped Scott through it.

Scott... Scott went into a deep depression. Not the kind that makes you feel weak and sad, this was the kind that filled you with fury, and vengeance. The Alpha pretended that he was okay, he had Kira to help him, and Melissa. But anyone could see that he no longer had that certain light in his eye. He had a dark fury that scared the Kitsune sometimes.

Lydia went on with her life. She continued with school, looking perfect and being Queen Bee. Emphasis on the "B". She'd went total Regina George on the school. She was extra bitchy and rude, she didn't spare a glance at anyone but Kira and Malia.

Derek hadn't been seen except for Pack meetings which Stiles hadn't went to for weeks.

He didn't feel like he deserved to.

He didnt deserve to.

He deserved to be alone. To rot and fade away into nothing.

He glanced back at the moon. It was all alone, no stars to keep him from going completely insane.

Stiles was alone too.

Scott didn't talk to him, only gave him a tight lipped smile in school. No impromptu visits through his windows. No texts or Skype calls.

Lydia didn't acknowledge him at all.

Kira gave him sympathetic glances, and Malia acted as if he didn't exist. Though he can't blame them. Kira was a kitsune, and Stiles was processed by a Nogitsune. And Malia only knew him because of Eichen House which was just a weakness for the both of them.

Issac gave him fearful glances, as if he was something to fear. Which sometimes, he thought he was.

Derek hadn't made contact with him at all, he only knew they still had pack meetings because he'd over heard Scott and Issac talking about it in Biology.

His dad is probably what hurts the most.

He works long hours- as many as he can- and Stiles knows why. He sees the looks his father gives him when her thinks he's not looking. Disappointment, sadness, fear. And that's what hit the lanky teen most. The fear he sees on his father's face when he lashed out at the fridge when it became too much.

Stiles sighed and looked at his clock. It read 4:30. He was tired, his body feeling the exhaustion. His eye lids heavy.

But they couldn't close.

And it they did they would fly open again as he screamed to an empty house; clawed at his blankets or arms, clutching his pillow and crying into it.

He thumped his head on his headboards and looked back to the moon. He closes his eyes for a second and a flash of a deformed person, gauze wrapped around is face, the only part shown are the black razor teeth oozing a dark goo. Laughter filling his ears.

He snapped his eyes open and tried to calm his speedy breaths. His heart beat like a rabbit in his chest and his stomach ached in frustration at its emptiness.

He counted to twenty then backwards trying to calm himself.

"You're okay. He's not there, he's gone. You're alone. You're alone; nothings coming to get you. You're alone" he chanted to himself staring at the moon as if it was his anchor.

It was the truth.

He was alone.


	2. Somebody catch My breath

He took a deep breath as he sat in his jeep. The parking lot around him was quickly dispersing, students deciding it was better to get to class before the bell rang then to hang out when they'd see each other in an hour or text during class.

He counted his fingers before opening the jeep door and standing outside. His back pack was hanging low on his back, his jeans loose and baggy on his narrow hips. His shirt hanging off of him though it's one of his smaller ones. He worea dark blue jacket, instead of his usual red one.

Too many memories.

He started on his trek into the school, passing students that just ignored him. He didn't mind that at all. He liked it. Better then having to face someone who might notice his lacking of health.

He opened his locker taking out what he needed for his morning classes he had Scott in his first hour, Kira, Lydia, Malia and Scott in his second, Issac and Kira in his third And Lydia and Malia in his fourth. It seemed like he wasn't going to be able to get away from them.

Even though they don't talk to him, he can feel their gazes through each class. He can see the tensing of their muscles when he passes them. In Biology when Scott sits next to him he can practically feel the anxiety rolling off the werewolf in waves.

He sighs and closes his locker glancing at Scotts locker down the hall, he stand there with Kira smiling and talking, probably flirting.

It's been two months since Allisons death.

Scott and Allison weren't dating when she was killed. She actually was with Issac who seems to be taking her passing in strides.

Sometimes the beta is happy and cocky like he was back when he was first turned. Others, he was the shy, timid, afraid like he was when he was with his dad.

Stiles could see the anguish and depression coming off Dereks beta when the blond thought no one was looking.

He walked past them, totally ignored, as he made his way to first period.

He sat in the third seat back in the side row nearest to the door. Mainly because it was secluded, the teacher tended to call on people in the front or back, so he chose the middle seats in each class. It was also close to the door and away from Scott, who hadn't even bothered to ask why he'd moved from his spot next to the True Alpha near the windows.

He sat slumped in his seat, the first person in his class, with ten minuets before the bell rang.

Their new English teacher, Mr. Tennant, who had taken over for after she'd "resigned", sat at the desk in the front, his glasses at the end of his nose while he made a constipated face as he read something on his computer.

Stiles liked , he was awkward and said "um" alot. Poor guy was probably fresh out of college.

He didn't mess with Stiles and Stiles didn't mess with him. He let the teen hang out in his room during free period and at lunch. Stiles couldn't stand sitting alone at a lunch table while his old friends sat together.

He watched as the class filled up, Scott sliding in through the door minuets before the bell rang.

Stiles raised an eyebrow when he saw Scott sit in the seat next to him that a girl named Susan usually sat in. Susan though, didn't look like she cared too much that Scott had taken her usual seat.

Stiles ignored the werewolf for the class, though he could feel the puppy faced boys gaze on him multiple times.

Mr. Tennant gave them a few minuets of free time before the bell so Stiles pulled out his phone and headphones. He'd taken up the habit of having ear buds in his ears and all times that he deemed worthy, which was and almost always. Listening to a flurry of songs that showed up on Spotify.

But, unfortunatly, before he could put in the headphones Scott leaned over, and said, "Hey, can we talk?"

Stiles gave him a look and leaned back raising his eyebrows in a 'continue' motion.

He wasn't meaning to be an asshole. He was just tired and wanted to ignore the world while he tried to drown out the voices.

Scott swallowed asndnd Stiles watched as his Adam's apple bobbed, "so, uh, we need your help. Research,"

Stiles blinked with a stoic face, just staring at his best friend... Was he even still his best friend? It sure didn't seem like it.

He shifted to look forward and put his headphones in his ears, "sure, text me the topic and I'll text you what I find,"

He turned on his music, some indie rock song blaring into his ears, as Scott nodded.

He knew the were wolf could hear his music, and knew the conversation was over.

Stiles scoffed in his mind. Of course they would still want him to do research for them. Even though they ignored him for months.

He sighed though.

Of course he'd still , it for them, even if th eyes ignored him, and made him feel insignificant... which they did. Whether they mentioned to or not.

But again... he couldnt blame them.


	3. I Wanna Be known

He drove his jeep to the familiar Loft that seemed to be a clubhouse for teenagers.

He still wasn't sure why he was here. He'd looked up the stupid information for Scott, but then the Alpha had requested he come give it in person to the pack. Though he didn't know why he had to.

He sat in his jeep staring at the building. He heard somewhere that Derek owned the whole building, Issac lived with him and the others spent enough time there to call it a second home.

Stiles was once in that spot too.

He sighed and gripped the steering wheel as he closed his eyes and counted to twenty then backwards. He counted his fingers before nodding and smoothing back his messy hair.

"Come one Stilinski, you can do this. Your alone, he's not here, your alone, no one's here, your alone" he chanted to himself.

He wasn't sure if he was trying to convince himself that the Nogitsune wasn't there or if he was shoving in his own face that he had no one and deserved no one.

Either way, it helped calm him from having a panic attack.

He found himself saying it at least once a day. On bad days it's over five. Sometimes he'll chant it to himself for hours.

He gets out of his jeep and makes his way up the Stair to the loft.

He wasn't sure who was all going to be there tonight, Derek, and Scott for sure.

He hopes it's just them. He didn't want to have to face the whole pack head on. At least all at school he can pretend he doesn't know them and that they don't see each other.

He stood at the large metal sliding door before knocking. He didn't feel welcome enough to just walk in like he use to.

He hears a deep voice tell him to come in.

He opens the door and walks to the large table in front of a wall of windows showing the sunset.

He shuffles uncomfortably. All of them were there Lydia, Malia, Kira, Issac, Scott, Derek, Ethan, and Peter.

"So I got some research on the, uh other packs around Beacon hills. There a surprising amount. Only three, two of them within Beacon Hills range have about six to twelve member and one with four. The closest is in San Dimas. One in Los Angeles with twelve is sort of hostile though only to those in their territory. I doubt it's them, they don't leave their own territory often. Uh, all their information that I could get is on this flash drive and in this folder... so, yeah, I'm gonna go now, homework and essays to get done."

He could take seem to get his mouth to stop till he got it all out. He knew it was because he was on the verge of a panic attack.

Again.

He couldn't have a panic attack in Derek's' loft surrounded by were-wolves and people who will just make him feel worse for it.

He could feel the emotions, judgement and resentment coming off of them all. He knows they didn't mean to, hell, they probably don't even know they are doing it.

He know though. He knows why.

They blame him.

They blame him for the deaths, Allison and Aiden's, all those in the hospital, all the other innocent bystanders, attacked and the chaos the Nogitsune cause while inside him.

He could remember it all. Clear as day, replaying in his mind over and over again when he's alone.

He can remember the feeling of confusion, and power that filled him while the Nogitsune killed and caused trouble. He remembered scratching till his fingers were bloody at the black brick wall keeping him locked in that one place in his mind. He could see everything, feel it all, hear the screams, and the cries for mercy.

Being unable to do anything.

And what's worse is that sometimes...

He liked it.

"Stiles... are you okay?" It was Peter that made the first move out of everyone.

Out of the boy he knew since he was 7, the girl he'd been in love with for years, the girl he lost his virginity to, and his 'friends', it was Creepy uncle Peter that made any move towards him.

Stiles smiles, but it was a weak impersonation of one, "Yeah, I'm fine, uh, swamped with school, you know, busy... I'm fine, how about you? Haven't heard from you in a while. Well, actually I doubt you want to talk to me of all people, hell _I_ wouldn't wanna talk to me right now," he laughed awkwardly, "Anyway, that's the information I could dig up, need anything else just, like, text or something,"

He turned to leave but someone grabbed his arm making him flinch so hard he saw Lydia wince herself, as if she was in pain.

He closed his eyes an started to mentally count to twenty then backwards, as he started to hear the chilling laugh of his psychological stalker.

Peter seemed to notice his distress and hesitantly let go of his arm, looking at his own hand in confusion.

"C-can I use your bathroom?" Stiles asks. Derek, speechless like the others, nodded and Stiles moved to the bathroom where he slammed the door shut.

He locked the door and leaned on the sink. Gripping the gray porcelain and hunching over the bowl. He took deep breaths and kept counting, then going backwards. He started to chant his mantra of "You're alone".

He stared at his reflection as he quietly chanted it. He quickly turned the water on to high in the sink so it would drown out his panic attack from the were-wolves in the loft. He had no doubt that they were listening ion on him. He looked over his sunken pale face. Deep bags, bloodshot doe eyes, his freckles being even more prominent on his sickly pale skin. His messy dull hair, that stuck up in all directions, not like it use to, this was in an ugly, gripping hair in frustration, bed head.

"You're alone. He's not here. You're alone. Your alone. No one is here. It's only you. You're alone. _YOU'RE_ _ALONE._ "

He snarled at his reflections and slapped himself.

That seemed to help the most at the moment and his breathing calmed and steadied. He kept whispering "Your alone" but otherwise he was becoming okay again. Or at least as okay as he was going to get.

He shut off the water and straightened up. He rubbed his hands together, counting his fingers before nodding to his reflection and leaving the bathroom.

He smiled awkwardly, "Sorry, I, uh, needed a moment so, uh, yeah, text if you need anything."

He walked backward towards the door as the other watched him. Some of them looked like they wanted to say something.

But they let him go.


	4. (note)

hey guys, so I know I'm kinda confusing right? so I'm going to explain this world a little bit.

So this is, obviously, after season 3 and the Nogistune. Issac hasn't left yet, neither has Ethan.

this story is kinda an audience of season 4, since I wasntwasn't the big fan of the plot line of season 4 so I'm changing it completely. don't worry, Liam still gets turned by Scott, it will just happen differently, also, Stiles and Malia never dated.

This will.probubly go into season 5 because, I'll admit, I'm a Theo Lover... I can't help it, I hate to love him.

but yeah, this arc will not involve Kate or the Benefactor... it seems that most people seem to ignore this season anyway... I also didn't like that Derek left and Peter just kind disappeared like WTF?

So also you can tell Stiles is majorly messed up from the Nogistune and it bothered me that they didn't put enough emphasis on Stiles mental state, I mean he was being possessed and killed a bunch of people... he wouldn't have just gotten over that easily.

so this is Stiles recovery story, with a bit of OC packs and depressing thoughts, and cute fluffffluff finesse with Peter, Malia, and Derek. no one leaves for the story... yet, idk what will happen later.

So yeah, that's all you should have to know, if you wanna check out my Wattpad, this story is there as well, and I have some other stories on there too.

anyway, love you guys please tell me what you think of the story, and review, tell your friends, follow me on Twitter or Instagram

twitter: queen_siyera

instagram: queen_siyera

wattlad: smak101


	5. By You

Scott's POV

He watched in horror as his best friend practically ran to the bathroom.

It was silent for a moment when they heard some mumbling in the bathroom, before the running of the sink blocked out whatever was going on in there.

It scared Scott a little. The way Stiles was. The way he looked, acted, and his smell...

"Should somebody help him?" Kira asks quietly.

But no one volunteered.

Scott looked at Lydia who still had a perfectly manicured hand over her glossed lips. Her green eyes were wide in fear and worry. She was watching as her friend was slowly dying.

Scott knew what was happening wasn't healthy. He knew it wasn't good for them or Stiles.

He didn't blame Stiles for what happened when he was possessed by the Nogitsune. Kira's mom told him everything about the Nogitsune, that she could. How it would take over its host. Torture them and their loves ones. Everyone thought that the Nogitsune wanted to wreak Havoc of that around it. Yes it was a trickster, but it was worse than that. It liked to mess around with people's heads. Play games and ruin them psychologically. That's what it did to Stiles. It made him witness, feel, and know all that it had done while using his body.

Scott couldn't blame him.

But somewhere deep inside him, he couldn't forgive his friend. He knew it wasn't the Stilinski's fault. They all knew it. But something dark inside the recesses of his mind would whisper conspiracies against his best friend. He knows it's the left over Nogitsune in his own mind. But it was hard to ignore.

Scott watched as Peter turned to all of them with a sneer that surprised Scott.

"What the hell is wrong with you all? Can you not see what is happening to him?" Peter asks incredulously.

Fury was rolling off of him on waves, like a furnace. It was almost overwhelming. His smell rancid with frustration and anger.

Derek glances passively at his uncle, "and do what? How can we help him when we can't even help ourselves?"

Peter gave him a bitch face, "Oh boo hoo, you guys lost a little hunter girl and a wolf. Do you not understand that your not the only ones who lost them. Sure you have to deal with the loss, but how would you survive if you had to live with the thought that your the one who did it?"

Scott stared wide eyed at Peter. Where was all of this coming from? How would Peter know what they, or Stiles, felt?

Peter stared at Derek in the eyes, "You blame yourself for the fire. You know what it does to someone."

Silence rang through till Malia spoke, "It want his fault though."

Peter looked at her, "Try convincing Stiles that. I bet none of you have even bothered to tell him that it wasn't his fault. How is he even supposed to fathom the thought that it wasn't?"

The bathroom door opens then and Stiles come out. He looks worse off. Sweating; shaky and pale; shallow, quick breaths, "Sorry, I, uh, needed a moment so, uh, yeah, text if you need anything."

They watch he'd as he left the loft. Scott saw him trip on his way out. Heard him run down the stairs and to his jeep.

Peter sighed and gave them all a look, "Stop ignoring him. He fading away, and whether you like it or not- he's what holds this pack together. Without him we are useless."

He gives them all a look and leaves himself.

Scott has a hold of Kira's hand as silence fills the loft. He closes his eyes and thinks about how crappy a friend he's been.

He ignored Stiles.

At first he was getting over Allison's death. Then he was so filled with rage that he was afraid to be around the human in case he wasn't able to keep control and listened too closely to that little dark voice. Then he was just afraid. To go near Stiles in general.

He learned from Kira's mom, also, that the Nogitsune didn't just randomly choose it's host.

It chose someone with the potential to do terrible things, or someone who has a spark, a brightness to them, that it wants to snuff out. Scott liked to think it was the brightness it wanted to snuff out but he wasn't so sure.

Stiles was so quick to give Derek up, to kidnap Jackson and even brought up killing the Kanima turned werewolf with little remorse. He had a darkness in him that scared Scott sometimes. He didn't know if it was just part for who Stiles was or if he was playing around, but it scared him none the less.

He loved his best friend and it hurt to see him like that. The flinch from Peter's touch was horrifying to say the least. It wasn't a surprised flinch or a 'ew Peter's touching me' flinch. It was a 'please don't hurt me anymore' flinch.

Derek moved to the table anymore and looked at the things Stiles had brought.

Scott had thought it would be good for Stiles to see the pack. Know he's not alone, and the packs around that were sniffing around Beacon hills were a good excuse.

Derek sighed, "I want someone on patrol every night. If it's the Gardener pack then we have nothing to worry about, but if it's the Stryker pack then we are in trouble, I'll get in contact with the Gardener pack, i doubt the Casonita pack would leave Los Angeles."

Scott sighed and shared a glance with Lydia who looked down in shame at having let Stiles get this bad.

He felt the same.

The bad thing was he wasn't so sure he could help Stiles- if any of them could- or if they really wanted to.


	6. Though Im Weak

Stiles sighed as he changed out of his shirt and pants putting on a large t-shirt that use to be slightly big on him but now hung off him like a dress, and some too large red flannel pajama pants.

He pulled the pants over his protruding hip bones. As he did, he ran a hand over his stomach tracing the feeling of his ribs under his pectoral muscles. he knew that he was losing too much weight. It was just hard to find the energy to eat- or pretty much do anything

He goes into his bathroom to brush his teeth when he hears a squeak from the floor in his room. He raised an eyebrow. Who would visit him through the window? No one had done that in months.

He'd almost forgotten about the squeaky wood beneath the window. The squeak was barely there but Stiles was trained to hear it from all the times people had come into his room through his window in the past.

He had minty foam around his mouth and his toothbrush in his between his lips when he poked his head out to see who was visiting.

He made a surprised noise when he saw zombie-wolf Peter standing in his room.

He quickly spat out the toothpaste and cleaned out his mouth before moving back into his room. what the hell was the older man doing here? Why the sudden fascination with him?

The older man now sat, lounging on his bed leaning on the headboard as if he belonged there.

Stiles stood in front of his bed and crossed his arms. He was tired and wanted to get at least an hour of sleep before he gets woken up by nightmares. He tiredly rubbing at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Peter shrugged while looking bored with slight amusement and hidden worry, in his eyes, "Thought you'd want some company."

Stiles snorted, "Yeah because I want Uncle Bad Touch to hang around, in my room," he emphasized with a gesture to around them, "With me."

Peter shrugged again, "I thought you could use a friend."

Stiles stared at him hesitantly. He knew better than to trust Peter. He was a crazy wolf- who should be dead by the way- who always had a secret agenda.

Unfortunately, he wasn't in the mood to fight with him. Not really at least, maybe a little banter, but Peter was right was right.

Stiles needed someone with him.

He was alone.

Which was good _and_ bad.

He sighed sitting next to the older man leaning on the headboard with him, "Well, you know you've hit rock bottom when it's Peter Fucking Hale that's your only 'friend'."

Peter put a hand to his heart and bat his eyelashes, "I'm honored you gave me such a title as 'friend'."

Stiles snorted, "That wasn't a compliment."

Peter raised an eye brow and shrugged, "I'm better than my dearest nephew."

Stiles nodded considering, he lifted a shoulder and made a considering frown that looked more comical than anything, "Touche. Though not by much. Is that a family trait, or is it just the two of you?"

Peter snorted, "You've met Cora."

Stiles winced, "Again, touche."

They sat in a comfortable silence. It was weird. Stiles felt a little better than usual, maybe it was because of the light bickering with Peter that helped him relax or maybe it's the fact that he had someone next to him. He had a slight ache that called for being in solitary confinement, but he had to admit. Peter being there was probably what was best for him at the moment. He wasn't sure how this night would have went if he hadn't stopped by.

Peter had stayed the rest of that night. Stiles wasn't sure why the were-wolf had, maybe the older man new something he didn't? Either way, Stiles was grateful for his presence. Plus he made a pretty good pillow.

Not that Stiles would ever admit to falling asleep on the mans shoulder.

After Peter had left that morning Stiles mood was considerably better than it had been in weeks.

He went downstairs and made himself an actual bowl of cereal, and as he sat down his father came in through the front door.

Stiles watched as the sheriff trotted slowly into the kitchen dropping his holster- which he had taken off his waist on his way inside- and badge on the table, ignoring his son as he went to the cabinet. The teen watched, hoping his father made the right choice, and almost smiled when he saw his father fill a glass with water from the tap instead of the bourbon in the cupboard.

The sheriff turned and leaned on the counter finally seeing that his son sat at the table.

He didn't say anything as Stiles awkwardly ate his cheerios. They tasted stale and dry, like cardboard. Honestly, he had no idea why he was even eating them.

John Stilinski put his glass down and, as if reading his sons mind, slowly said, "Glad to see your eating something."

Stiles slowly chewed and swallowed before nodding, not looking at his dad, "Yeah, uh, there's milk in the fridge if you want some. Um, well, uh, I guess I'm going to go to school, get some rest."

Stiles shuffled around his father and put his half empty bowl in the sink and made his way out of the room.

He sighed as he got to his room and grabbed his stuff. His father hadn't said anything else and Stiles didn't expect him to.

He drive to school like every other day; got to his locker, was ignored like usual, feeling tired and sluggish the whole while.

What was different was the fact that when he was grabbing his bio text book, the resident were-coyote came up to his locker.

"We're going out for lunch," Malia states more than asks the sleep deprived teen.

"Uh, actually-"

Malia interrupted him, "Uh, yes. You don't have any plans, you eat in room. Today your going to drive us to the coffee shop near the park."

"Us?" Stiles asked dread filling him.

Malia looked at him as if he was stupid, "Me and you."

Stiles' heart calmed and he knew Malia could tell. He didn't want to have Scott or the others there. It was bad enough Malia was.

Malia smiled and took his silence as agreement, "Great, I'll meet you at your jeep. Don't try to run, I've hunted prey for years."

As she stalked confidently away Stiles let out a deep breath and leaned his forehead on his locker. He closed his eyes and went through his usual routine; count to twenty, then counted backwards. Once his heart and breathing steadied he stiffened up and walked to his class.

He sat in his usual spot.

looked up and smiled, "Stiles, good morning."

Stiles gave him a fleeting smile. And students started fuming up the classroom, Scott among them.

Once the bell rang, stood and addressed the class, "Guys, we have two new students," the door opened and two teens came in, one was real with bleach blond, almost white hair and dark brown eyes, the other had messy blond hair and a goofy smile on his face, "Mr. Sanders, and Mr. Ackles,"

The messy blond gave a small wave and the bleached look at the class with cooks calculating eyes.

Stiles noticed that was too cool about this. He looked at the boy, he had called him, with a uncommon sense of comfort, as if he knew him and he wasn't a stranger new kid like most teachers were.

Stiles shivered when those dark irises landed on him for less than a minuet before stopping completely on Scott. Stiles glanced at the True Alpha and saw him tensed and staring at both the new comers.

Interesting.


	7. And Beaten Down

Stiles barged into the boys bathroom and ran to the farthest stall from the door, locking himself in and sitting on the toilet curling in on himself.

Her covered his ears and let his head drop between his knees.

"You're alone. He's not there. It's your imagination. He's gone, and you're alone. Stiles, you're alone, " he chanted that to himself as the laughter got louder.

 _Your pathetic. It's your fault they died. You were weak, human. Your useless, no wonder your pack didn't want you_.

"No, shut up, you're not there, SHUT UP! SHUT UP! You're alone. He's not there, you're alone!" He stressed, rocking back and forth. He hit the side of his head as his eyes clenched tightly and his face contoured into a grimace.

 _You're_ _right Stiles. You are alone, and you deserve to be._

Stiles opened his eyes and clasped his hands before picking up his head and looking at the grey metal door of the stall. He wasn't really seeing it, his eyes glazed with unshed tears, "Yes, you're alone, and you deserve to be."

He stood and unlocked to door before going to the mirror above one of the many sinks. He started at his reflection. He was suppose to go to lunch with Malia in a few minutes after class ends.

He wiped his eyes and turned on the water to cold, then splashed his face. He looks up at the mirror and snarled at the person staring back.

A weak and pathetic human. Incapable of saving anyone. Only causing problems and deaths.

He pulls his fist back and punches the mirror causing an array of spider web cracks to form and pieces to fall into the sink along with drops of blood.

He pulled his hand back and cursed.

He looked at the damage. He had a dislocated finger and multiple lacerations along his knuckles and hand.

"Fuck!" He whispered before going to a different sink and turning on the water cleaning of the blood.

He stared, as if in a trance, as the blood slipped from the cuts down into the slowly filling sink turning the water a light pink. The ruby droplets trailing along with the water that was washing it away, contrasting against his milky skin in an obscene yet beautiful sight. It amazed him that such a simple liquid could be the essence of life, how without it a person, human or supernatural, was nothing.

A bang on the door pulled him from his trance.

"Get out of there dude, others gotta take a piss too!" Someone shouted through the bathroom door. He hadn't noticed that he'd locked the actual door to the bathroom before running to the stall before. The stranger banged on the door again and Stiles turned off the water quickly, and pulled a wad of paper towels from the dispenser before sending a glance at the broken mirror.

He hesitated for at minuet about what he should do, but another bang made him jump and he was quickly unlocking the bathroom door and running past the random student, through the halls, not hearing whatever the student yelled at him.

He ran to his jeep. He leaned heavily on the powder blue door of the vehicle and let out a large breath he hadn't realized he was holding. He moved to open the door but grimaced at the tug of pain.

He looked at his hand and saw dried blood surrounding a few cuts from earlier. He must have lost the paper towels in his haste.

Oh well, it was the custodians problem now.

He shook his hand before opening his jeep door. once the door was closed, he prayed to every deity that his Roscoe came on, and luckily it did. He smiled softly and turned to look outside his back window and nearly shit himself when he saw Malia in his passenger seat looking at him blankly.

"What the hell? How'd you get in here?" Stiles asked his heart beating like about jackhammer.

Malia looked at him and narrowed her eyes, the shone a bright blue, "Why do you smell like blood?"

Stiles rolled his eyes, she hadn't even bothered to acknowledge his question,and started to pull out of the parking lot ignoring Malias' question, "So, the Hunahn Cafe? Why that place?"

The Hunahn Cafe was a Japanese themed cafe, not so popular that it was crowded but good enough to have enough business throughout the day. They had free wifi, and Japanese style tables, along with calming music and an actual replica of a cherry blossom tree in the study room they had for students, mostly college but some high school ones too.

Malia still watched him as they drove, "What happened to your hand?"

Stiles shrugged, "Cut myself on some glass, doesn't matter."

"Does it hurt?"

Stiles shook his head as he pulled into the parking lot for the coffee shop.

He looked at Malia, "Well, let's go then."

He got out of the car and strode to the front doors, Malia following behind him. He ignored her completely as he stood in line. They had gotten there when the lunch rush started so the cafe was slightly crowded.

Stiles took the time to take in the shop itself. It was decently sized with walls of a pale pink and light brown color. Most would assume that the pink would make it look girly but it just gave it a calming aura. The floor was dark brown in color and the tables barely made it to his shins. Little pillows of white, brown, pink, and maroon littered the floor, for people to sit on. They also had tall tables with long legged stools with matching cushioned seats.

"So, what was that yesterday at Derek's?" Malia asked as they both sat at one of the tall tables with their drinks.

Stiles had gotten a chi latte that tasted like pumpkin spices, while his lady friend got a simple Americano. She was still warming up to certain humantries like coffee.

Stiles took a large sip before answering the were-coyote, "Nothing, I just needed sometime alone... I've been going through things, but I'm fine now. How's the pack thing? Find out who's it is yet?"

Malia shrugged, "I don't know, no one tell me anything."

Stiles bit his lips looking at the other teens profile. She was looking down at her own coffee, fingering the rim of the cup. He could see the dejected posture and frown barely on her lips. She was new to the pack, new to humanity in fact. The others still treated her like a sort of outcast, except Kira or Lydia; and even then, Kira was still pretty new and Lydia probably couldn't care less.

Stiles sighed, "Don't worry about it, I'm sure Derek will have a pack meeting."

Malia gave an uncommitted shrug and they drank in silence.

Stiles contemplated over Derek's pack and Malia predicament. None of them seemed to be helping her try to deal with all the new information that's being thrust on her. After she turned human she was put in Eichen House which didn't help her at all. Plus, since she got out she's had to handle being a were-coyote, not letting her father find out, school, and all the normal things people do and don't do.

Stiles felt compelled to help her.

He counted his fingers subtly, though Malia gave him a weird look. He smiles at her, "You know, if you need any help dealing with all this," he waved his hands in a universal motion for 'everything', "You can come to me."

Malia looked at him with narrowed eyes, trying to find if he had a ulterior motive or something. After not finding what she was looking for she smiled. And he smiled back.

AUTHORS NOTE!

Hey guys! I would l've if you guys would comment and whatever... it makes me think that people are actually reading and like it... also, show your friends, spread the word!

This will have a sequel of season 5 btw... don't know if I've already told ya'll that... ANYWHORE-

favortie and follow! message me too! I love hearing from you guys!

also, i have no idea if humantries is a real word, but it sound like it honestly could be so, eh what the hell? Why not?


	8. I'll Slip Away

Stiles stood outside his jeep after school, looking down at his phone in confusion. He hadn't gotten any texts from anyone but his dad, and that was occasionally.

 _Unknow_ n: _you busy this evening?_  
 _Unknown: this is Peter by the way. I stole your number from the True Alphas phone_

Stiles could actually hear the sneer that Peter had used when typing "True Alpha".

The real question was: why was Peter texting him? Sure they kinda hung out last night, but he didn't think that meant that Peter would want to hang out more. Though Stiles wasn't too against having the zombie wolf over again. It was better being around people then alone. The voices were quieter when he wasn't left to his own devices.

 _Stiles: nope, no plans, just gonna hang out alone since my dad will probably work the double shift again. And btw that totes wasn't creepy at all_

He sighed and rubbed his eyes again as he started to hear the faint noise of laughter in his head. It had been pretty quiet since he had the panic attack in the bathroom earlier that day.

He counted his finger and then counted to twenty then back again. His breathing slowed and he closed his eyes from the harsh glare of the sun above him.

"Are you okay?" A new voice he wasn't familiar with asked for his left and he jumped slightly, not having heard the other person walk up to him.

He turned and saw the blond boy with the big smile and green eyes. He stood with his head tilted to the side, his forest colored eyes narrowed in thought.

Stiles sighed in releif, "What?,"

The other boy s lied softly and sheepishly asked," I said, 'Are you okay?'. You looked kinds down."

Stiles looked at the boy suspiciously. What did this guy care? No one else could and now a new guy does, "I'm fine," He said in a monotone voice.

"Oh, okay, well-"

"What do you want?" Stiles asked bluntly. He was not in the mood to deal with annoying new kids. Even if they are unnaturally attractive. He'd thought the only people attractive like that were were-wolves.

The other boy rubbed at his neck embarrassed at being called out like that, "Well, you seem like a chill guy and i was wondering that, you know, since I'm new and all, i don't really have any friends and i was hoping we could be friends. Most of the others at this school seem... shallow."

Stiles was taken aback. This kid, attractive, nice, and defiantly a heartthrob, wanted to be _his_ friend? Yup hell must have froze over because not even the people who have been his friends for years wanted to be his friend.

Stiles blinked and sluggishly said, "Sure?"

West beamed and Stiles was taken back by the boys beauty and enthusiasm, "Great! Can I get your number so I can get a hold of you?"

Stiles wondered just what he'd agreed to by telling this boy he'd be his friend. Hopefully he wouldn't be like Malia or Peter. AKA overbearing.

Stiles slowlygave the new boy his number. It felt weird since he'd had no reason to use his number in the past recent months. It felt as if he was speaking a different language, like his mouth couldn't say them right.

He must have not messed up too bad because the other teen smiles at him happily.

"Thanks Stiles, I'll text you yeah?" He asked with an innocent tilt of his head. Stiles couldn't help but think he looked like Scott in that moment.

He shook his head, "Oh yeah, sure,"

West nodded and waved before going to his own car, which was a light blue Honda civic.

Stiles stared after him confused. What the hell just happened?

He shrugged to himself and got into his jeep. As he started his jeep something catches his eye. He looks out his windshield and sees Allison standing by the bike rack staring at him. She seemed fine, in a black t-shirt and jeans. Except he could see drops of blood on her jeans.

He panicked and closed his eyes, counting to twenty and back again. He opened his eyes and she no longer stood there.

His heart was beating like crazy and he could feel the sweat on the back of his neck and the watering of his eyes.

He was gripping his steering wheel so hard his hands started to ache. He rested his forehead on his knuckles and quietly weeped inside his jeep, in the school parking lot.

Not only was he not sure this was real, he was hearing voices and seeing dead people. He was going crazy! Maybe he did belong in Eichen House...

He jumped when the passenger door of his his jeep opened and someone sat in the passenger seat.

He wiped his eyes the best he could before looking up and seeing, oh great! (Sarcasm) Malia Tate in his passenger seat staring at him with an unreadable expression. He looked over his face. He was sure it looked obvious that he was crying before.

"What wrong with you?" She asks. No beating around the bush with this one, Stiles thought before breathing in and out deeply before replying.

"Well, that's a hard question to answer, considering there is a lot that could be classified as wrong in Stiles' head here," he motioned to his head with his fingers in a gun, "So you might want to be a bit more specific,"

Malia narrowed her eyes and sniffed the air, "What's that smell? It's stinks."

Stiles snorted, "Yeah well, it could be the anxiety on me or the depression, I've been told both have less than appealing scents. Onto more important matters, why are you in my room? Again?"

Malia scrunched up her nose in dislike before replying, "We're hanging out tonight."

Stiles spooked at her confused. He crossed his arms and looked at her skeptically, "Really? All of a sudden you wanna hang out with me? What about Lydia? Don't you have to 'reconnect' with your dad?"

Malia shrugged looking forward, not making his gaze, "I thought I could come to you whenever I needed,"

Stiles sighed. He'd forgotten he'd given out that invitation, "Yeah, but I meant like, if your not understanding how to work a toaster or something. Not to hang out whenever. I'm not the best of company anyway."

Malia shrugged and smiled softly, "Your better than the others."

Stiles raised an eyebrow. Malia was weird, he guessed it wasn't too bad to have her hang out. Unfortunately Peter was also coming over, and since he was her biological father... that might get a little weird.

He shrugs, hey its not any of his business, if Peter wants to tell her that he's her father, that his drama.

Stiles pulls out of the school parking lot and drives to his house. The drive silent except for the faint taunting in the back of his mind telling him, _"It's all your fault."_

 _ **AN**_

 _ **hey guys, if you want more scoop on my stories and other fanfics follow me on twitter via Queen_siyera**_

 _ **also again, im on Wattpad so if you want to read other OC stories and world go there. I love hearing from you guys and i love to know reviews so i welcome it and appreciate it.**_

 _ **Thanks to all those who've Favorited and followed Goner. Yes there will be a part two so be prepared!**_

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 _ **again none of this is possible without you guys so thank you guys and i love you!**_


	9. Into this Sound

Stiles was making to Totinos pizza when his stalker zombie wolf came into the house with a swoosh of his long coat.

Stiles was leaning on the counter and gives Peter a bitch face, "Really Peter? You don't live here, you could have, you know, knocked instead of just welcoming yourself into my house. What if I was naked?"

Peter raises an eyebrow and smirks before sneering, "Then I would have enjoyed the view."

Stiles stared at him, mouth opening and closing like a fish. He had a nice rosy color along his cheeks and his ears burned as he blushed.

He glares and turns around pretending to check the pizza that was still thawing in the oven.

He hears Malia greet Peter, and Peter greet back. He turns and give Peter a side glance, Peter raised an eyebrow at him in question, Stiles just shrugs because if Peter's not going to say anything, neither will he.

"So, is there any actual reason the two of you are sitting at my dining room table while I'm making you freezer pizza, while I could be sleeping and wallowing in self pity?"

Peter gives him an amused look before replying, "It gets boring at my dear nephews loft and you are pretty much the only person in this god forsaken town I can stand."

Stiles looks at Malia then, but she shrugs, "Same."

Stiles signed and rolls his eyes. He rubs his temples because the haunting voice keeps whispering hateful things about Allison's death into his ears, and it's clouding up his brain.

He gets it: he's the reason for Allison's death. He's the reason her father will never get to see her in her graduation gown, never get to walk her down the Isle on her wedding day. Why Scott lost the first girl he ever loved, why Lydia lost a best friend.

Hell, Lydia lost two people that day. Her best friend and her boyfriend. He wondered how she could still stand to sit in the same room as him for school.

He couldn't believe Lydia hadn't smacked or punched him yet. She could have at any moment burst his eardrums with her scream and he would let her. He would let her do anything, and it wasn't even because he was in love with her.

He wasn't in love with her anymore. Actually he couldn't really feel anything but depression, anger and guilt these days. He wasn't sure when he stopped being in love with Lydia Martin. He never believed someone could fall _out_ of love.

He wished they would do something. He wished that they wouldn't.

"..iles? STILES!" Someone calls him out of his thoughts.

He looks up at Peter who is crouching? When did he get on the floor?

Stiles was curled into a ball between the fridge and counter, holding his head in his hands.

"Stiles are you alright?" Malia asked from behind Peter who was looking at Stiles with a knowing look. Stiles could see swirling fury in his blue irises.

Why was Peter angry?

"W-what happened?" Stiles asks as Peter pulls him up and walks him to the table. Stiles noticed the older werewolf never removed his hand that was protectively around his waist, as if Stiles was going to collapse at any time and Peter had to hold him up.

Malia stared in worry, sitting across from him while Peter sat beside him, "You spaced out the started whispering about how it's all you fault, then fell to the floor, curled into a ball and moved to the corner... is that what was happening at Derek's yesterday?"

Stiles ignores her question as he thinks over what she'd said he'd done. He had a panic attack, and... Peter helped him out of it. The only person who was able to help him when he got in an actual panic attack was his parents. That's why he counted to twenty and back, that's what his psychiatrist said to do to stop himself from going into one after his mother's death. He would have one all the time, and Scott would freak out not knowing what to do. He hasn't had one since the night after the whole Nogitsune thing was finally finished. His dad had to hold him and calm him down while he screamed and clawed attacks the sheriff's arms.

"Sorry... I usually can control them and stop myself from having a panic attack. That's what happened at Derek's," Stiles says tiredly before a ding signals that the pizza was done.

Was he really out that long?

Stiles made his way to stand up but Peter put a hand on his shoulder to not let him move, "Ill get it."

Stiles watches as Peter carefully, with protective mittens, takes the pizza out and puts it on the cooling rack. He sees a disgusted look flash across the werewolf face, "What?"

Peter looks at Stiles like an annoyed child, "Mushrooms?"

Stiles laughs, actually laughs. This is the second time in less than 42 hours that Peter -Bad touch- Hale has made him laugh. That's more than anyone else in the past few months.

Malia give Peter a blank look, "I love mushrooms."

Peter gives her an unimpressed look, "You also ate deer for almost a decade. You opinion is invalid."

Malia gives him a confused look and he just groans in annoyance.

Both weres give him a appreciative look, as he chuckled, covering his mouth to hide his smile. It felt odd, just like it had the night before. It didn't feel like he was the one making the cheerful giggles, but instead, someone else and he was listening. Even the noise itself was over so soon he couldn't even remember what it sounded like till another came along.

"So, Stiles," Peter asked sitting again, resting his elbow on the table and his cheeks in his hand, " Why is it, that you have been avoiding our little pack?"

Stiles laughter ended so fast it didn't even seem like it happened at all. What? Why would Peter ask for? Our? As in his and Malias'? Or was he insinuating that he was apart of the pack?

That couldn't be true though because he _wasn'_ t part of the pack. He was the stupid human who couldn't protect anyone let alone himself. He was only good when they needed information.

"I haven't been avoiding you guys," he says quietly, digging his nail into a groove in the table.

Malia tilts her head, "Yes you have."

Stiles looked at her with an annoyed expression, "No I wasn't, you guys have been avoiding me. Whether it's because of Allison and Aiden's deaths or because you guys don't like me, aka, Derek and, at least I had assumed, Peter. So I just thought that if no one was going to take the time to talk to me, I wasn't going to take the time to speak to you guys,"

Stiles watched as a flint of sadness crossed Peter's face before his expression schooled to his usual cocky self.

Why would Peter feel sorrow for him? Just a while ago Peter didn't even like him, so what's up with this sudden infatuation with annoying the freckled teen? It was creepy. Great now he had to deal with a pedophile wolf.

"We are talking now," Malia said quietly, looking down at her lap shyly.

Stiles nodded with a light shrug, "Yeah, which I still don't understand by the way. But also, notice, you guys are the only ones I talk to. And that's kinda sad when the only ones are Creepy Uncle Peter and the ex-wild coyote. No offense to you guys."

"Still was offensive," She replies with a roll of her eyes.

Peter rests a hand to his chest faking a hurt expression, "Oh Stiles, you wound me so."

Stiles rolled his own eyes sighing tiredly. He stood and moved to the pizza pulling out a knife to cut it. He cut it into six pieces, and put three on two paper towels giving a paper towel each to the weres in his kitchen.

"Your not eating?" Malia asked looking at the pizza with appreciation.

Stiles shook his head and Peter frown disapproving, "I'll eat later, I usually don't eat after panic attacks."

"How often do you have panic attacks?" Peter asked picking the mushrooms off his own pizza with distaste.

Stiles shrugged, "Like I said, I can usually control it. I don't have them often."

Peter just frowned and watched him scrutinizing, as if he knew Stiles was lying

Stiles shivered at the weight of his gaze.

"So, what do you have planned for tonight?" Malia asked as she took a bite of her last pieces of pizza. Peter was still working on his first.

"Well, I was going to just do my homework and listen to some MCR, but now that I've got a fan club, I guess we can just watch some Netflix. I think they have the new season of Sherlock," Both Peter and Malia gave him a confused gaze, "Okay scratch that, we are watching the whole damn series. Tonight, which won't be hard since there's only like nine episodes,"

Peter's phone pinged in notification at a text message. Peter look at it, Malia watching him and Stiles didn't even bother.

The tall, gangley teen stood and walked to the living room, turning on Netflix.

He had sat down when the other two joined him. Peter sat in his father recliner and Malia sat next to him. She must not have any knowledge on personal space because she chose to sit thigh to thigh with him when there was the rest of the couch.

"So," Peter started, "It seems like both the Gardener pack and Stryker Pack are in town. Both attracted by the Nemeton. The Gardener pack are willing to have a meeting to go against the Stryker pack who apparently has been causing trouble for other packs, meaning they have been demolishing packs."

"Great," Stiles says absent minded.

"Derek wants you there," Malia adds.

Stiles snorted, "I'm not pack,"

Peter tilted his head looking at Stiles as the teen maneuvers through Netflix, "What makes you say that?"

Stiles sighs and looks Peter in the eye, "I don't want to be. I'm tired of all the supernatural shit. I'm tired of Fucking shit up and people getting hurt because of me,"

"Allison wasn't your fault," Peter says.

Stiles looks at him, "How would you know? You weren't there! Neither of you were. So Neither of you can talk about it not being my fault. I know it was. I admit that. I'm not going to try to make others see that it wasn't. So let's just watch some freaking High functioning sociopaths and not talk about it again okay?"

Peter closed his mouth and Stiles pressed play on the episode.

Peter wasn't going let the argument end there though.

Neither was Malia.


	10. The Ghost Of You

The next two weeks for Stiles consists of Malia following him around like a puppy, Peter being a creepy stalker, an annoying but cute new kid who blows up his phone, and excruciatingly awkward Pack meetings that Peter and Malia drag him to.

By awkward he means, none of the pack acknowledge him, and only Peter and Malia taking notice in his existence. Lydia will give him concerned glances, Scott looks constipated, like he wants to say something but he's not sure what. Derek doesn't even look at him.

It became more awkward when the Gardener Pack introduced themselves. Their pack Alpha was a tall man that gave Derek a run for his money in the facial hair. He had caramel hair that was usually put up in a messy bun, and went by Leon, Leo for short. His second was a woman named Abby who had brilliant red hair, redder than even Lydia's, and a 'take no shit' attitude. Next were Julia, Damien, and Sam who all were Leon's Erica, Boyd and Issac; pretty much Leon's groupies. Julia was a beautiful Hispanic were-jaguar, and Damien and Sam were personified opposites. Damien had black hair and dark eyed while Sam had bleached white hair and pale blue eyes. Then there was Lucy, a were fox, with almond shaped eyes and pin straight hair; Collin, the pack mom who looked like a scary biker; and Keith, who just reminded Stiles of Jackson.

What threw him for a loop was the fact that cute text boy, West, was also in the pack.

Of course he was, Stiles wouldn't be lucky enough to have normal guys wanna be around him.

West had found it amusing to text him at the craziest hours of the day, and give him little tidbits about fish anatomy. Stiles really didn't care about the elasticity of a jellyfish at four thirty three in the morning.

They all decided that the best course of action and bout the rival pack was to single out different betas of the Stryker pack, and interrogate, and fight if need be.

They already knew two of the Stryker pack went to Beacon Hills Highschool. Hell, one of them was in Stiles English class.

Which is why he was currently sitting in the school library watching the bleached blond boy who showed up the same time as West.

Speaking of West. The were-wolf sitting next to him was fidgeting his hands and kept looking at his watch. His non stop movement made Stiles wonder if the wolf boy had ADHD.

Stiles looked at the blond annoyed, "Can I help you?"

West looked at him with a pair of puppy eyes that could rival Scott's. Which should be illegal because Scott's puppy eyes could let him get away with murder.

"Please go to try outs with me? Please? Kira and Malia, are going to be there... but I don't wanna seem needy in front of Malia, and your pretty much the only person besides Lucy and Keith that talk to me at this school," West pleaded, clasping his hands together and stuck his bottom lip out.

West had recently confessed that he'd seen Stiles with Malia, whom he had quite the crush on- "I'm on both sides of the spectrum bro"- and decided to make friends with Stiles in hopes to get close to Malia.

It made Stiles feel bad at first but then the two became really good friends and West told him he'd rather have a friendship with him then a relationship with Malia.

That didn't stop the boy from wanting to impress the brash Coyote.

Stiles sighed, and tried to ignore the growing taunting voice telling him we was a failure, he looked at West exasperated, "If I go will you leave me alone about it?"

West nodded enthusiastically with a shit eating grin. Stiles sighed and nodded, letting West take lead.

As they made their way out of the library, Stiles looked back at the boy, who's name, oddly enough was also Scott. The blond was looking at him with a smug smirk and Stiles teeth ground in annoyance.

He'd chose to ignore the betas assholeness and just followed West to the locker room.

Stiles stopped before he went in, "I'm, uh, I'm going to go to the field, and uh, find a seat 'kay?"

West smiled softly and nodded.

Stiles slowly trudged to the field outside the school and made his way to the bleachers. Kira and Malia sat in the front row, Kira cheering on Scott, and Malia looking conflicted. Stiles chose a seat two rows behind them and a little to the side making sure Malia could see him.

When she caught a glimpse of him she smiled and waved. He gave small three finger wave in response before looking out the field.

This was only try outs, and Stiles couldn't help but be glad he wasn't on the team this time. This year's freshmen looked horrifying. He couldn't help but admire a few of them though.

He felt another person sit beside him, a few feet away. He was a freshman, with dark skin and a plaid shirt. Stiles nodded in approval.

The boy cheered, "Whoo! Go Liam!" And clapped.

Stiles raised an eye brow and looked out to the field seeing one of the freshman, a cute blond one stop and glare at the dark skinned bystander. He flipped the bleachers off and the boy next to Stiles laughed, returning the gesture.

Stiles saw West come out on the field and couldn't help but think he looked good in his gear. Scott was a currently talking to Issac who was staring at the newbies in surprised.

Stiles almost wished he was still on the team.

Coach Finstock came onto the field then and blew his whistle. Stiles blocked him out and just watched as the boys each went through their drills.

He spaced out a little.

The voice was back.

 _Good thing you_ _aren't_ _out there, you_ _would_ _probably hurt someone._ _That's_ _all you do_ _isn't_ _it? Hurt people?_

 _Your a weak pathetic human who_ _can't_ _help anyone. You are_ _worthless_ _and have no one._

 _No one but_ _me_ _that is._

NO!

Stiles shook his head to himself. No! He was alone. No one was there with him. Kira's mom made sure of that.

He counted his fingers, _one, two, three, four, five, six..._ he got to ten and counted again. He kept counting his fingers and his breathing labored.

"You're alone. You're alone, there is no one else here. Stiles, you. Are. Alone. The Nogitune not there. You are alone. You're alone. Your alone _YOUR ALONE._ " He whispered to himself.

A loud gasp caused him to actually break out of his trance.

He looked where everyone else was looking and saw Kira holding a Lacrosse stick in front of Malia's face with a ball inside.

Did she catch it? Wow, nice reflexes. Of course he couldn't really expect anything less since she was a kitsune and was a bad ass with a sword.

The coach started yelling something about her ever playing lacrosse before and then telling her she was on the team.

Scott was smiling like an idiot at his... girlfriend? Were they boyfriend/girlfriend? He wouldn't know because Scott hadn't actually spoken to him that was not related to the Stryker pack in months.

West waved to him and he rolled his eyes again.

The werewolf a wave caused Scott to look in his direction as well as Issac, and for Malia and Kira to turn to him.

He bit his nail in embarrassment at all their gazes.

West seemed to notice what was happening and lip sank an apology to Stiles who shook his head.

Stiles noticed movement in the corner of his eye and saw Scott Sanders standing far behind the bleachers, watching the lacross players. Stiles raised an eyebrow.

He stood and started to make his way to the back of the bleachers.

Scott- who Stiles decided to call him Sanders since Scott was already being used, plus it was the name of his favorite character on Buffy- turned to him and crossed his arms attend cross his chest.

He had the same smug smirk on his face and it infuriated Stiles.

"What can I do for you?" Sanders paused looking him up and down, "Spark."

Stiles rolled his eyes. It wasn't really uncommon for his to be called Void or Spark. Though neither are really person had a spark in them, and Void was the Nogitsune. Void was the voice in his head, not _him_ as a person.

"What's your packs business here? Why are you in Beacon Hills?" Stiles asked crossing his own are responsible and ignored the obnoxious voices of Void in his head.

 _I wonder what his bones_ _would_ _sound like snapping..._

"Would you believe me if I said it was for your guys burger joint?" Sanders said sarcastically.

Stiles chuckled darkly, no actual emotion in it, "No, though we do have the best damn curly fries, you should try them sometime. But you should also know that if you guys start killing people, there's a true Alpha here."

Sanders grinned and it reminded Stiles of the joker. The blond came closer, "oh we know. That's part of the reason why we are here. The fact that there is a true Alpha. Also the fact that this place calls to us. Did you know that? We aren't sure why, but this town, it calls to all us supernatural beings. Just wait, it won't only be weres coming to town. I already know a few wendigos, and even a few fairies who are here."

Stiles looked at him unimpressed, "Oh I know, it's like a big dog whistle to gathers all the supernatural shit around these parts. I'm just here to let you know, that if you go one step out of line... shits going to get real."

Stiles turns around and leaves the blond werewolf.

 _Thank you guys so much for reading! I wanted to let you know that this story is coming along beautifully and its all thanks to you who read it!_

 _If you want more scoop on the story or future stories and other stuff follow me on twitter!_

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lm _ao that was a lot of 'likes'._

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 _also review and let me know what you think! I appreciate it and would love to hear from you guys!_


	11. Is Close to me

Stiles sighed in annoyance as he sat in his jeep with West, and Scott. The tension was high and thick enough to be cut with a knife.

Stiles glaring at the windshield as he watched the preserve. Derek had put them in groups. He, West, and Scott were supposed to do a stake out at this part of the preserve.

Honestly, he had a feeling Derek put him and Scott together since the two of them had been ignoring and avoiding each other.

Stiles know it cause a rift in the packs dynamics, but he didn't care. Scott was being an asshole so Stiles would be one back.

"So when did you two get so close?" Scott asked the two in the front seat.

Stiles ignored him and West smiled answering, "I asked for his number."

Stiles snorted, "One of the most awkward and unusual things ever to be done to me, might I add."

West blushed.

Scott looked at the two of them with suspicious eyes, "So are you two then...?"

West's eyes widened and his face became red while Stiles choked on his spit.

"No, he actually started out wanting to get close to Malia."

West defended himself, "In my defense, I wouldn't have minded getting your number for _you_ anyway."

Stiles blushed slightly. He hasn't really thought much about relationships. Sure he used to have a crush on Scott but he is his best friend... Or was anyway. Then there was Derek- but Stiles isn't even going to _go_ there. And Lydia. And a girl or two.

He could also count Peter. He actually was probably the highest one on the list at the moment. He was becoming one of Stiles most trusted people, him, West, and Malia.

Stiles just couldn't really see anyone looking at him _that_ way. At least not anymore. Not since all this started.

"But I do have a theory about Pet-" West started to add but then Stiles noticed something move in the trees in front of them.

"Shh," he said raising the hand and turning on his head lights. He saw a dark shape move in the trees and started unblocking his seat belt, "There's someone out there, come on guys."

He got out of the Jeep, Scott and West following. He started walking towards the area he last saw the figure. Scott was scenting the air while Wests eyes glowed gold and he scanned the surrounding area.

Stiles heard some talking from ahead and he followed it.

"Do you guys hear that?" Scott asked.

West nodded, "I know that voice..."

The three of them neared a clearing that had a large pit meant for bon fires and benches made out if old wood around it in a circle.

On one of the benches sat two teens. Both looking familiar to Stiles. They were laughing about something and Stiles saw a bottle in one of the teens hands.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, "Let's go back to the car," he whispered.

West and Scott both stood still on alert. Scott's eyes now shined a deep Alpha red while West was completely wolfed out. Okay so maybe that wasn't all it was.

"What do you hear?" He whispered.

He heard a loud crack of wood being broken and saw one of the benches flying at them.

West grabbed Stiles and jumped out of the way.

The bench broke into thousands of little wooden pieces, showing its old age.

Stiles winced.

The commotion cause the two teens to stand and turn to them with wide fearful eyes.

Stiles turned to Scott who stood next to West who had quickly gotten up and the two faced three wolfed out were-wolves. Stiles gave the three stranger wolf's quick glances.

The one in the center looked to be the leader. Her face was scrunched up more animalistic than any of the other wolfed out faces Stiles had seen before and he'd seen a lot. Especially wolfed wolf ones, like Derek's. His were the wofiest so far. But this lady gave even Mr. Broody a run for his money.

The two behind him snarled like wild pack animals. Stiles chuckled to himself at that. They _wer_ e wild pack animals.

"The True Alpha," The she-wolf in the front sneered, "I thought you'd be... Bigger."

Scott growled and his eyes bled a deeper red, "Sorry I don't live up to your expectations."

One of the groupies behind the wolf who spoke to Scott sniffed the air and turned to the two teens who were now cowering behind a tree. Stiles tensed up and glanced at them as well.

That stranger wolf wouldn't go after defenseless humans would she?

Stiles glanced at West who looked back at him. Stiles made a motion towards the trees humans and West nodded.

So, while Scott and the leader wolf spoke Stiles made his way in conspicuously towards the teens.

"Who are you and what do you want? Why are you in Beacon hills?" Scott demanded and the leader wolf scoffed at him.

"I am Sylvia, second of the Stryker pack. We came here to eliminate the True Alpha," The Lady wolf said with pride, "And his pack."

Scott snarled at her and she snarled back, "You will leave this town before you and your pack are forced."

Sylvia laughed. Full blown, head thrown back, mouth opening showing off her not so pearly whites. The noise made the hair on Stiles neck stand on end as he got closer to the tree.

He made eye contact with one of the teens and recognized him as one of the newbie freshmen that had tried out for the Lacross team. The one who he secretly, okay not so secretly because damn, the kid had one hell of a jawline, admired. The one with the friend from the bleachers next to him.

He couldn't remember what the other boy had called him.

Lial? Larry? It started with and L he was sure of it.

"Hey, hey, it's okay don't worry," whispered to the younger teens with a soft smile that he hoped was reassuring. He tried not to glance at the bickering werewolves behind him, "Let's get out of here okay?"

The blond one glared at him, "What the hell is going on? Why do they -"

"Hey let's leave questions till we get somewhere safe yeah?" Stiles said through clenched teeth.

The blond just glared at him harder and Stiles hesitated. Why was the kid so angry? Stiles was pretty sure he hadn't been too annoying yet.

"Liam, bro lets listen to him. Let's get out of here," LIAM! That's what his name was! Ha!

Liam looked at his darker skinned friend, "Mason, I'm not just going to leave when there something going on!"

Mason gave Liam a bitch face, "Yeah, some crazy gang fight, so let's leave before one of us gets ganked!"

Stiles nodded, "You should totally listen to your fashionably intelligent friend here."

Liam gave him an annoyed look while Mason smiled at him appreciatively.

A howl made all of them look back at the wolves behind them.

The wolf that had made the first move toward Liam and Mason was now running on all fours towards them and Stiles panicked. He pushed the two freshmen, "Move, move, move!"

Liam and Mason stumbled over each other and Mason ended up tripping over Liam's foot and fell to the forest floor.

Stiles winced when he heard a thick thunk of the dark skinned teens head hitting a rock and falling instantly unconscious.

"Mason!" Liam shouted and the wolf lunged at them.

Stiles intercepted her and the two of them fell rolling on the ground. He tried wrestling her but knew he wasn't going to be able to do much.

He looked at Liam who looked horrified, "Take him and run! Run!"

Liam froze in horror as the wolf punched Stiles in the gut causing him to fall into a fetal position.

He had a quick flashback.

 _He stood over dozens of bodies, all covered in blood._

 _Except it wasn't him._

 _It was but it wasn't. He was the one in control. He was watching it all happen, feeling the gush and squelch of all the internal organs and blood that littered the floor._

 _He saw the splatter of blood all over the walls, the nurse lumped over a now dead patient._

" _See?" His lips moved but he wasn't speaking, "This could have been avoided if you had listened. This is your fault."_

 _No! It want his fault! It was Voids, the Nogitsune, not him!_

 _Void laughed, a sick noise he never knew his voice could make. Stiles banged against the game board that made for a window through his bodies eyes._

 _The Nogitsune just sat back, across from him on the other side of the board, "So naive. You think that I chose you out of which? I NEVER do things at random, you should know this by now Stiles. There was a reason I chose you."_

 _Stiles looked away from the board and to Void with fire in his eyes, "I would never do this."_

 _Void tilted it's head as if contemplating what Stiles had said, "Oh, but you could. All you need is the push. Don't you feel strong? Powerful? No longer the pathetic human who couldn't do anything except research? You have strength in here Stiles, Spark. I just found it for you. That's the thing with you. Your spark. It's so bright, but you have a darkness deep inside that you can not hide from. It balances out your light, but no one can deal with that. You must choose, dark or light. I'm helping you make that decision."_

 _Stiles glared at the Nogitsune in disbelief, "Isn't that my choice? I'd never choose darkness."_

 _"That's a predicament then isn't it, my Spark? You say you would not choose the darkness, but are you sure your would choose the light?"_

 _Stiles looked at Void in confusion. What was the dark spirit talking about? What did he mean?_

 _He was trying to get in his head. That's what these trickster spirits did isn't? Get inside your head make you go crazy? He could take let the Nogitsune win._

 _Stiles looked in defiance, "I'd choose light. Always."_

 _The Nogitsune looked at him, unmoving._

Stiles came back to the real world when Scotts roar of pure alpha wolf rage rang through the Preserve.

He opened his eyes and quickly sat up seeing Scott hunched over Liam. His eyes widened when he saw blood all over the young teens shirt and neck.

What the hell happened?

Scott was feral. His breathing was uncontrollable and West was standing near looking conflicted.

Stiles looked at the blond were-wolf in confusion and West gave him a fearful look.

But he wasn't afraid of Stiles, or even for him. He was afraid of something else.

Stiles brow furred as he looked back afraid to Scott who was looking determined.

Stiles realized what West was so afraid of when he noticed the shallow breaths coming from Liam's chest.

 **Shit.**

Stiles looked at Scott and started to shake his head, "No Scott, come on man, he doesn't know, he can't consent."

Scott glared at Stiles and the freckled boy flinched at the hard gaze, "Stiles he's _dying,._ "

Stiles gulped, "Let's get him to a hospital-"

"There's not enough time," Scott said looking back at Liam's unconscious face.

 **Fuck.**

"Scott-" West tried but was shut down with a loud growl and piercing gaze from the uncontrollable Alpha.

"Scott, think about what your going to do. Think about what he'll think, Derek? The pack? What would happen?"

Scott shook his head, "We can risk it, if it doesn't take hell die anyway, at least this way he has a chance."

Stiles shook his head, tears in his eyes, "Scott that's not a-"

"I don't care!" Scott howled.

Stiles flinched, so did West. He heard a groan come from Mason from a few feet away.

Scott bent over and Stiles reached out a hand to stop him by it was too late.

Liam's screams filled the air.

 _ **Shit-fuck.**_


	12. Im Inside Out

Stiles woke up screaming into his dark room. He felt like he could take breath. Like something heavy was on his chest and he couldn't move it. He started flailing his limbs to defend himself from an invisible enemy.

He felt someone- or something, his mind provides and he couldn't help but notice it sounded like Void- wrap an arm around him and a hand softly stroking his cheek.

He didn't notice till then that he had tears falling from his eyes and soaking the offending hand.

He tried to take in his surroundings, tried to calm his breathing."Your okay," a voice hissed almost lovingly into his ear, "Your safe now, Spark."

Stiles froze then, his eyes wide. His heart started to beat our of control and he jerked trying to get out of the grasp that now held him down.

"NO! LET ME GO! SOMEONE! DAD! DAD HELP ME KNOW! MALIA! WEST! S-SCOTT! YOUR NOT HERE! I'M ALONE YOUR NOT THERE! YOU CAN'T BE HERE! PETER! PETER PLEASE!"

Stiles screams seemed to fall on deaf ears because the voice kept cooing in his ear.

He sobbed loudly and thrashed, unable to move, unable to breath.

He thought they'd banished, trapped, the Nogitsune! How was it here? Stiles was sure that the Void in his mind whispering to him throughout his days was just his own mind scaring him.

But this?

This was real."

Stiles, oh, you are alone. Only, you alone with _me_." The Nogitsune whispered in his ear.

Stiles shook his head and sobbed, ugly tears trailing down his pale cheeks. He kept crying for help, but his words started to jumble together in a uncomprehensible garble.

"Stiles!"

Stiles ignored the voice calling to him thinking it was the Nogitsune messing with him.

He couldn't believe the Nogitsune was out. Did Kiras mom know? How would they defeat it? Last time two of their friends died and dozens of bystanders.

That couldn't happen again. Stiles refused to let it.

 _You should have died too._

"Stiles! Dammit, snap out of it!"

There it is again.

That voice... he knew that voice, it wasn't the Nogitsune. He felt comforted by that voice. He wanted that voice, he wanted it instead of the false comforting lullaby Void was shoving down his ear canal through lovely whispers.

"Come on kid, I'm here, I'm here for you. Don't worry."

Stiles felt his heart slowly calm and breathing even out. The tears stopped, leaving his cheeks tense and wet.

The voice was warm strong, and everything Stiles needed. He wanted to be wrapped in that voice and held in its comforting protection.

Void snarled in his ear and suddenly he was no longer with Void. He was still in his room, the light of early dawn shinning through his open window, a breeze coming in. His blanket was around his feet and he felt a warm body plastered to his back.

He blinked and looked at the strong arms around him, not like the Nogitsune, but more protectively. He felt a steady warm breath on his brow and the soft heart beat coming from the chest he leaned against.

He looked around his room and saw a groggy yet fearful Malia kneeling on the floor at the end of his bed, her hands around his ankles. She had a soft grip, not to alarm or hurt him.

"Shh, Shh, it's okay, I'm here, your not alone," The familiar, comforting voice said into his hair. He turned his head and came face to face with a worried Peter.

"Peter?" He whispered disbelieving.

Peter smiles softly and looked at him fondly, "Who else?"

Stiles eyes teared up and he wrapped his arms around the older man. He gripped him like his life depended on it. He didn't care what it would look like.

Peter's arms wrapped around him pulling him close. Malia looked at them awkwardly and Peter motioned for her to join.

She quickly climbed onto the bed and joined in wrapping her arms around the two of them.

Stiles sighed.

He never thought he'd have this kind of comfort coming from Peter of all people.

He smiles anyway.

He was with people who loved and cared for him. He wishes Scott and his Dad, and Lydia, Derek, Isaac and the others were there.

Even Allison.

He was far from okay, but maybe he could be on the road towards it.

Stiles sat in adjacent from Scott and Kira, and across from Lydia and Malia. It was completely awkward and the silence was deafening.

Stiles smacked his lips, "Well I'm going to go and say the elephant in the room. What the Fuck Scott? You bit Liam!"

Lydia rolled her eyes and Scott glared at the table, "It was the right thing to do at the time."

Stiles scoffed, "Right, because giving the bite to someone who didn't consent and has no idea of our world, might I add, was the right thing to do."

"What would you prefer? I just left him to die?" Scott shot back.

Stiles gave him a bitch face, "There were so many other options then biting him!"

Scott growled and his eyes went red for a moment before Kira set a hand on his shoulder to calm him.

Lydia sighed, "Well, there's nothing we can do about it now. We have to deal with him."

Malia looked at them and asked, "Do you want me to kill him?"

Stiles sighed in exasperation, "Malia, we've talked about this, we don't kill every problem we come across."

Malia looked at him with with a confused face not understanding civil norms, "What if I maim him?"

Stiles threw his hand up, "No maiming people either!"

Scott tensed up and Stiles knew what that meant. He looked to the entrance to the outside lunch are and saw Liam glaring in their direction.

Stiles sighed as the blond stormed over to their table. Really, there was no other was to describe the angry movements his bowstring legs made beside an angry storming.

"What the hell did you do to me McCall?" Liam asked through clenched teeth.

Scott looked at Liam with a calm expression, "We need to talk, but not here."

Liam threw his hands up, "Why the hell not here? What the hell did you and your stupid friends do to me?"

Stiles raised a hand, "Uh, actually, I didn't do anything. All I tried to do was help you."

Liam's glare was shiver inducing. If you could kill with looks, Stiles would have been six feet under with out a thought to a funeral.

"Liam calm down," Scott tried to get through to his beta.

Liam's eyes were starting to glow an beautiful gold and his fangs started to come down.

Stiles stood up and rested a hand on the freshmen's shoulder but Liam snapped at him causing Malia to stand and Kira to move towards her belt that worked as a sword.

"Liam you need to chill out man. You can't lose yourself right now," Stiles tried to reason and Liam just growled.

Stiles looked at Scott and Scott nodded. The two of them each grabbed one arm and dragged Liam into the school and to the locker rooms.

Scott shoved the beta in the showers and turned on the water.

Soon enough the cold water calmed the boy down enough to go back to normal. That didn't lessen the anger that radiated off the boy. Scott seemed to be in physical distress from the signals coming from him.

Stiles looked the blond over.

He'd done some research on the boy- after the nightmares, Peter stayed up and did research with him when he couldn't get back to sleep after the nightmare- and found out that he was kicked out of his last school. He had vandalized a teachers car and gotten in a fight. Seems like he had some anger issues.

Great.

"What d-did you do- t-to me?" Liam said between breaths looking at Scott with fear, confusion and anger.

Stiles realized what was kid wasn't so much as angry as he was afraid, and didn't know what was going on with himself. Confusion and fear were the pathways to anger, which all led to the dark side.

Stiles smirked to himself. At least till his inside joke was responded with a chilling laugh that Stiles dreaded. He ignored the laughter, but noticed it was more feminine and even more familiar than the Nogitsunes, and focused back onto the blonde pup under the spray of the shower.

"Liam, we are brothers now," Scott said sounding an awful lot like what Derek had told him.

Liam gave Scott a bitch face that Stiles was proud of, and said in a flat annoyed voice, "We just met and you bit me."

Scott looked at him with a passive face, "The bite is a gift."

Stiles closed his eyes to breath and calm down. What the actual fuck was Scott doing? He really thought that spiel would work on this kid? It didn't fucking work on him! Scott really wasn't the sharpest pencil in the box was he? Stiles had to hold back full body, head thrown back, boisterous laughter that wanted to come out of him. Great job Scott. A for effort at least.

"Liam..." Stiles decided to leave the wolf thing to Scott, maybe he could find a better way to handle it? For now he himself was going to try to help the boy, but to help him he must now what's wrong, "Why were you kicked out of your last school?"

Liam looks at Stiles like a kicked puppy, anger all gone, "W-what? How do you know-"

Stiles smiled comforting, "I just do. You messed up your teachers car didn't you? Why?"

Liam looked down in shame, "He was going to kick me off the team for getting in a fight..."

"And you thought messing up his car would make him change his mind?" Scott asked not understanding what Stiles was doing but grateful the beta was no longer angry. Though he himself wanted to punch smack the Alpha upside his head.

Liam looked at him in a way only a young teen who felt like no one understood him could, "I have Intermittent Explosive Disorder."

Stiles sighed is exasperation and looked at Scott who was confused, "Great job Scott, your first beta, and he has IED."

"I can control it. I take medication and I have a psychiatrist," Liam tried to defend.

Stiles sighed and shook his head, "It's okay Liam... just, listen to Scott okay? He knows what he's saying."

Liam pouted defiantly, "I'd rather listen to you. You seem to know what your actually talking about."

Stiles smiles at that. He already like this kid. He stands up and brushes off his pants before turning to Scott, "Walk with me, talk with me."

Scott gave Liam one last glance and decided it's fine to follow his... ex? Bestfriend... were they even still friends? The thought left a large lump in the Alphas chest chest.

Stiles left the locker room and turned to Scott, he poked the Alpha in the chest, "Listen here Scott McCall, I'll say this once. You need to tell that kid in there what's going on, all of it, but do it your own way. Don't try to do it Dereks way. Do it your way. Derek had no idea what he was doing and now you don't either. But you're his Alpha, he'll listen no matter what."

Scott looked at Stiles and Stiles shuffled awkwardly. Scott and he hadn't really been on the best of terms. Their little dynamic duo was on hold. It left a hallow feeling in his heart that made him wish that he'd have just been killed along with the Nogitsune.

But that is not whats important now. He'd have to put his and Scotts issues aside. For now, Stiles was dealing with crazy voices, nightmares and zombie wolves, while Scott dealt with the new pack in town, Allisons death, and now a new beta.

Stiles sighed and turned to leave, and Scott let him.

He sighed as he walked down the hall.

 _That's just another life you'll let get killed. You're a murderer Stiles._

This time the voice wasn't Voids.

It was Allisons'.

As he ran to his jeep he swears he saw a girl with dark hair and dimpled cheeks staring at him with hatred behind the dumpster.

His breathing quickened and his head started to pound. He couldn't breath of feel his arms or legs. He became light headed. He really was going crazy. he was seeing dead girls! He shouldn't be seeing dead girls! Voices were one thing, he knew that that was just his mind. They couldn't be anything else. He knew that he was just having a bad case of PTSD from being processed by an evil spirit.

But God dammit he couldn't handle it.

He felt himself fall to the ground, right outside his jeep. He curled into a ball and rocked back and forth in the parking lot and he whispered to himself.

"This isn't possible. Your not here, your dead. You died. I killed you. I'm so sorry," He sobbed into his knees.

He saw someone crouch down to him and heard Allision sneer at him, " _Its real Stiles. I'm dead and it was your fault. You killed me. Scott will never forgive you."_

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I killed you. You died because of me. It's my fault, my fault. All my fault."

He saw Malia barge out of the school, the doors slamming against the wall with force though he didn't notice it, and noted look around for him her face frantic with worry.

She saw him and ran towards him.

He didn't even care to wonder how she knew something was wrong.

Lydia, Kira, Scott and even Liam followed her.

Malia wrapped her arms around him and tried to whisper soothing words into his ear like Peter had done that morning.

"It's my fault. All my fault. Never forgive me. They're dead. I killed them. I'm alone. I wish I was alone," Stiles kept whispering. His eyes clenched closed.

Lydia stood in horror at the boy in front of her. What had they let happen to their Stiles? She felt tears well up in her eyes.

Kira stared in confusion. This shouldn't be happening. Her mother said that since he hadn't died and had survived the Nogitsune that he would be fine. Maybe have a little PTSD but this was not normal.

She didn't think so at least.

"Shh, Stiles it a okay, your not alone. I'm here, Peter will be here soon. Don't worry," Malia started to pet his head soothingly and rocked him in a more calming rhythm.

Scott couldn't breath. It was like he was having a asthma attack. His best friend... he was withering away and he let this happen. How could he do that to his best friend? He was a terrible friend. Hell, he didn't even deserve the title friend.

Liam stared in horror, much like Lydia. He had no idea what this group had been through but he knew he never wanted to see Stiles like this again. And if he could help make sure it never happened, he would.

The banging of the school doors caught Scott, Liam and Kira's gazes.

West stood there, eyes glowing gold, scenting the air. His head snapped in their direction so fast they thought he'd catch whiplash.

He ran to them in record time. Pushing past them and crouching besides Malia and Stiles.

Stiles wasn't noticing anything that was going on. He knew they were there, but he couldn't hear them. All he could hear was Allison, who crouched on the side West and Malia weren't on, telling him things he already knew.

 _"I can't believe you've lasted this long_ ," She says contemplating, " _It's not fair that you get to live after all the death you've caused. You really believe you can live a normal life? Go back to the way it was before?_ "

"No," he answered, "I don't deserve to, I known I don't. It's not fair I get to live when you don't. It should have been me."

West looked at Malia confused at what Stiles was saying. What was going on?

Malia furred her eye brows and pulled out her phone calling Peter.

Lydia stepped forward, hesitantly but surely. She carefully set a hand on Wests shoulder to tell him to make room. He moved over and the strawberry blond beauty gracefully got on her knees and rested her hand on Stiles hand. She grabbed his chin and moved it so he was looking at her with tear filled glazed eyes.

Her eyes were red with unshed tears, she would be strong for Stiles, "Don't you ever think that Stiles Stilinski. Allisons death was not your fault. Neither was Aidens or anyone else's. It was all the Nogitsune. It was not you."

Malia put her phone up, "Peter's on his way."


	13. You're Underneath

Scotts POV

Scott never thought he'd be jealous of an older man. Especially _this_ older man.

But here he was.

Once Peter came, complete with caring worried expressions, holding Stiles as if he was something precious -and by god, it pissed Scott _off._ And Stiles still hadn't come out of his panic attack.

The main question was: what had caused it?

Scott himself feels like he should have recognized sooner, but how could he? He was too wrapped up in his own self pity and anger to notice his best friend falling into a pit of despair.

It was worse knowing he left the lanky teen in the hands of a creepy pseudo-pedophile wolf, that tried to kill them.

"What do we do? What do we do? You can usually get him out of it!" Malia was going hysterical and her eyes started to glow blue in her frustration.

Peter sighs annoyed at her, "I don't think this one is normal."

"How often does he get these?" Liam asks looking over Scott's shoulder.

Scott furred his eye brows. Stiles hasn't had a panic attack since the Nogitsune. That he knew of at least. Now it was a normal occurrence?

"He gets one at least once a day," Peter provides as he grasps the teen freckled cheeks making him look at the wolf's face.

Scott saw that Stiles eyes were glazed over and he seemed to be looking above Peter's shoulder at something not there.

He started whispering, "My fault. Killer. Should've been me."

It scared Scott. Scared him more than he's ever been scared before.

His best friend, _His_ Stiles, was saying things that Scott never believed he would hear coming from the out-of-it teen. Even when his mother had died, how it ended, he hadn't said such things. he wish that he could take the teen up into his arms and never let go but he knew he did not deserve that right. He'd probably make it worse even.

"We need to take him to Deaton," Peter says standing and pulling Stiles up with the help of Malia and West.

Scott stepped forward, "Wait, why are we taking him to Deatons? He's okay right?"

Peter gives Scott a look asking him with facial expressions, 'Are you an idiot?'. Scott shuffles slightly at the older wolf's gaze.

"Peter's right," Lydia provided opening the jeep passenger door for Peter to put Stiles in, "He needs a doctor. Not one a hospital can give, but one who really _knows_ what's going on."

Malia and West climbed into the back of the Jeep while Peter took the drivers seat.

"Meet at the clinic," The zombie wolf says to the four not in the jeep with them.

They nod and Peter starts the jeep.

Kira turns to Scott, "Scott... we need to go."

Scott glares at her and snaps, "I know, he's my best friend."

Kira closes up slightly and looks down. Scott instantly feel bad. It's not her fault he's angry. He's mad at himself. And maybe a bit at Peter. And West. But he wasn't going to start on that topic just yet.

"I'm sorry. I'm not mad at you," Scott says resting his hands on his girlfriends shoulders and she smiles at him sadly.

She reaches up and rests a hand on his cheek, rubbing a thumb on his cheek bone, "I know, you're worried about him. We all are, but for now all we can do it be supportive."

Lydia makes a noise of agreement, "I'll drive."

She starts walking towards her fancy car not looking back. Scott can smell the anxiety and something else on her. He can't quiets put his finger on what it is.

"I'm still majorly confused," Liam adds scratching the back of his neck, "But I don't think my parents to will appreciate if I miss my afternoon classes."

Scott looks at him and nods, "Got to class. Don't tell anyone about what we told you, not your parents, Not Mason."

Liam look as of he's going to argue but he doesn't. He nods to his alpha and makes his way back into the school.

Scott sighs and Kira puts a hand on his arm, "Scott, you didn't know."

Scott look at her defeated, "But I should have. Stiles shouldn't have had to have Peter of all people be the only one who seemed to care."

Kira nodded sadly, "But it isn't just your fault Scott. We all should have done more. Plus, I think it did some good to Peter and Stiles."

Scott shook his head and growled, "I'm supposed to be his best friend, his brother... I failed him."

A nice silver VW rolled up in front of them, and Lydia rolled down a window, "Come on guys, I don't have all day. "

Scott and Kira shared a look before getting in the car and Lydia.

Regular POV

Stiles sat in the back of his jeep, Malia had her arms around him protectively, whispering soft reassuring words into his ear.

West sat staring out the window with a contemplative look. He didn't know why, but something about this whole thing didn't sit well in his stomach. He's been told by his Alpha to listen to feelings like that.

Something dark was happening to Stiles and he thinks that the Stryker pack might have something to do with it. They had to go in for the kill soon. hes pretty sure he knows why they are here and he knows its going to take a lot of power to defeat them.

He pulled out his phone and texted Sam. He was the main researcher of the pack and defiantly the smartest. What he saw in Damien none of them knew.

Meanwhile Peter glanced back at the three teens with a worried brow. Stiles' condition seemed to be much worse than he'd thought. Maybe he was too late. Hopefully Deaton would be able to shed some light on the situation.

Stiles stared ahead, unseeing and unblinking. All he heard was Allisons voice sneering and commenting. Her... Ghost? Body? Stiles wasn't even sure what she was. He was sure she was in his head, since he seemed to be the only person to see her, but that didn't help.

All the things she said were true. They were the dark little things in his heart that he didn't want to acknowledge. The power he felt as the Nogitsune, the thrill that came with the rush of having someones fate in your hands, someones life at your disposal. The adrenaline that came with holding the Nogitsune back. Sometimes he felt nothing, not sorrow, fear, anger. Nothing, and honestly, that scared him more than anything else he's delt with so far. If he didn't feel anything then he was nothing.

Void.

Maybe he was Void.

" _Come on Stiles, you know it's true. The Nogitsune didn't make the darkness in you, it's always been there. All Void did was make it known to you. Everything else was you and your own darkness," Allison said turned in her seat staring at him with an ugly sneer that didn't look right on her beautiful face._

Stiles shook his head and buried it in his arms.

No. She was wrong. She had to be.

The pulled up at the Vet Clinic in record time, not being stopped by any red lights or traffic, which seemed odd to West.

Peter got out of the car helping Malia get Stiles out, who stared at Allison who lounged arrogantly in the passenger seat looking at her nails.

They pulled him into the clinic lobby, and Peter practically beat the bell calling out to Deaton.

The ex-emissary came out of the back with a slightly annoyed look on his usually pleasantly passive face. His face went back to its usual neutral when he saw Peter, Malia and West standing there with a shaking, out of commission Stiles, who was mumbling nonsense to an imaginary Allison.

"Come to the back, quickly," Deaton said letting them in.

They all filed into the back and set Stiles on the examination table. Deaton shooed them away and stood in front of Stiles grabbing his face with gentle hands.

"Stiles? Its Deaton, can you hear me? Nod if you can," no response was given to the doctor and the dark skinned man sighed. He turned to the three weres, "Tell me exactly what happend."

While Peter explained to Deaton that Stiles hasn't been very well since the Nogitsune was defeated- having panic attacks, night terrors, and hallucinations- Scott, Kira and Lydia came in.

Deaton nodded glancing at Stiles who seemed to have calmed down slightly and closed his eyes laying in a fetal position, hands covering his ears.

"It sound like the Nogitsune might have done more damage than we assumed," he started but was interrupted by Kira.

"I asked my mom about it on the way here," the Kistune says, "She doesn't understand whats happening either. "

Deaton turned to a cabinet and started pulling things out as he spoke, "Well, from what we know, there has never been a survivor of a Nogitsune possession, so we can't really compare to know if this is normal or not. I don't believe it has anything to do with the Nogitsune itself though."

Peter crossed his arms and glared at the vet, "So what then? He's crazy? Because he doesn't seem like it, and trust me, I know crazy. "

Deaton walked over to Stiles, a concoction of powders and dusts in a bowl he'd just made up. He ignored Peters question as he poured some of it around the lanky teens head, where it was rested on the metal table.

Instantly Stiles calmed and the occupants of the room seemed to calm as well. Stiles put his hand around his knees now, instead of covering his ears.

"You think he's going though something inside his subconscious? " Lydia accused.

Deaton nodded, "Yes, and he has to over come out on his own."


	14. I've Got Two Faces

Stiles woke up filled with fear and relief. Fear for what he had just went through with Allison's hallucination and the thoughts that came with it. But relief that it was over, at least for the time being.

He felt a strong hand in his, holding with a firm reassurance of strength and protection. He followed with his eyes, up the arm attached to the hand and came face to face with a dozing Zombie wolf.

He couldn't help smiling at the adorable face on the older man. He looked so relaxed and younger in his sleep. He didn't have his usual mask of sass and cruel stoicism marring the handsome features.

Stiles blushes slightly and looks down jerking his hand out of the wolfs grasp.

He couldn't believe he just thought that.

Peter was almost twice his age! Okay that was an exaggeration. He was seventeen almost eighteen, and since Derek was only a few years older, early twenties, Peters only a few years older than Derek, so seven years maybe eight.

 _See, and it wouldn't be illegal in a few months anyway. You'd be in the middle if senior year!_

Though he was slightly worried at the content of his thought, he was happy it was his own and not Voids. Or even Allison's.

His quick move to get away from the older wolf caused Peter to jerk awake and instantly be alert. He stood and darted his eyes around checking for any threats.

"Jeeze, you can calm down zombie wolf, you startled me it all. You really live up to the creepy status, watching me sleep and grasping appendages while I'm unconscious," Stiles teased Peter.

Peter narrowed his eyes, "How are you feeling?"

Stiles shrugged. He doesn't remember much, only talking with Liam and Scott at the school, before Allison took up all thoughts...

"Wait, where am I? Wasn't I at school?"

"You had an... Attack in the parking lot. Scared most of us shitless. We took you to Deatons and he said he thinks he knows whats wrong with you. "

Stiles looked around but didn't see any sign of anyone else. He laid on an uncomfortable metal table meant for animals. The window in the corner showed a deep pink-orange color shinning in.

It was evening.

"Where is everybody? Did someone call my dad and let him know whats up? Oh god he's probably worried like crazy. He's going to make Parrish babysit me again, I know it."

Peter rolled his eyes in fond annoyance, "The others went out scouting with some of the Stryker pack. And you should probably call the sheriff."

Stiles groaned throwing his head back, "Seriously? You guys didn't call my dad? That's like the most important thing! He's going to be pissed! Oh my god you guys are useless."

He pat himself down looking for his phone and found it in his jacket pocket. He saw 5 missed calls from his dad and 23 texts.

Great, his dad was pissed. Sure they haven't spent much time and he is ignored, but his dad still checks on him making sure he's not, you know, dead.

"So, your dad will care if you don't go to school but he hasn't noticed that fact that you're emotionally unstable?" Peter asked, his voice laced with disdain.

Stiles sent a quick text telling his dad he was at Deatons, supernatural emergency, but that he was okay and will be home later.

"We haven't, spoken much these last few... Months," he trailed off looking down.

"Since, the Nogitsune," Peter added with a flat voice.

Stiles shrugged.

Peter sighed as Deaton came into the room, "Oh good your awake. Do you mind if I do a few normal procedures? "

Stiles shrugs tiredly and Deaton grabs a stethoscope and asks him to life his shirt.

Both the Vet and the were wolf frown when they can see the teens ribs.

"Breath in, now out. Okay how does this feel? Good, that is normal," Deaton put away the stethoscope and stood in front of the teen, "Stiles, how long have you been having these episodes? "

Stiles shrugs, "Since the Nogitsune. Before that, the last time I had a panic attack was when my mom died."

"Im not sure it's an actual panic attack that your having. Do you happen to hear anything. Like when the Nogitsune would talk to you when you were possessed?" Deaton asked.

He noticed the teen tense then relax almost as fast. Interesting.  
"If its not a panic attack then what the hell is it?" Peter asked annoyed at the vets cryptic way of letting out information.

"Uh, nothing like that," Stiles lied through his teeth at the same time Peter spoke.

He heard Peter growl and bowed his head in a uncommon- for him at least- display of submission. He knew the lie sucked, but it was worth a shot.

Deaton chuckled softly, "Why don't you tell me the truth this time? Maybe then I can see if my assumption is correct."

Stiles sighed sadly, "I've been hearing... It, in my head since it left. At first it was just little taunts, riddles, laughing, insults. Then, it started to get worse, I- My dad couldn't know. He just got me back, and I didn't want to be sent back to Eichen House."

Peter cleared his throat, "Speaking of, the hospital caught on fire... Meredith, a few patients and three doctors died."

Stiles winced. Poor Meredith. It was scary thinking that Lydia could have turned out to be like her. A complete nut case, and unable to control her... Banshee.

"So, you heard a voice. Was it the Nogitsune or your own?" Deaton asked getting back on topic.

"Sometimes."

"Sometimes?"

"It is usually Void... That's what I call it. "

"What about when its not, Void?" Deaton asked slowly saying the title.

Stiles hesitated. He wasn't sure he wanted to tell them about Allison. He didn't want to be called crazy. Hell, he already was crazy, he was seeing dead people! Its not like Peters going to judge him or anything.

"Recently," he caused closing his eyes, "It's been, uh, Allison's voice."

Deaton's voice didn't change at all. He didn't give away to his feelings, staying completely professional, "Is it hostile?"

Stiles shrugs unhelpful and Deaton nods.

"Well, based on what you've told me, we can rule out the panic attack idea. Whats happen-" Deaton is interrupted by a bang of the front door of the clinic slamming shut.

Peter turns to the opening of the examination room just as the door flew open and someone ran into the room frantically.

The Sheriff, John Stilinski stood there, breathing heavy, with wide crazed eyes, "Stiles! Your okay! Thank the Lord Jesus."

Stiles stands and goes to his dad who opens his arms and the two Stilinski men hug.

Stiles buries his head into the crook of his fathers neck. He felt secure, the smell of his dads aftershave and oil from either his cruiser or gun wafting around him like a force field of comfort. It had been so long since he'd just hugged his father. He could feel the pent up frustration and the tensed muscles in the Sheriff back.

He missed this.

"Dad," the teen whispers and he could feel his eyes filling with stinging salty H2O, but not yet sliding down his cheeks.

"Jesus, you scared the hell outta me kid. What were you thinking? What happened?" John asked pulling away and looking his son over before turning to the other grown men in the room.

"Actually, I believe I could be more helpful in that area. Stiles had an episode. He went into shock in the school parking lot. He has been having panic attacks regularly, and not been eating right."

John stared in disbelief at the werewolf. How could he have missed so much?

He turned to his son, "Is that true?"

Stiles shrugs uncommitted making Deaton roll his eyes before speaking, "Actually they aren't panic attacks. Stiles' body is going in auto pilot mode during his episodes. Mostly it's just him being stuck in his head. A mind can be a terribly torturous place."

Papa Stilinski held back tears as he looks defeated at his son.

He really takes him in.

Stiles didn't stand as tall as he had before. He hunched in on himself, making himself look smaller. Vulnerable. He had dark bags under his eyes that contrasted drastically with his unhealthy pale skin. His clothes hung off him like they were a few sizes too big and John was sure his son wore that shirt a lot in the past and it had fit perfectly. He looked exhausted; mentally and physically.

"What kind of father am I?" The Sheriff asks himself slumping on the metal examination table.

Peter looked at the older Stilinski with a huff of approval and satisfaction.

Stiles looks up at his dad with determined eyes, "Its not your fault. No one noticed."

"I did," Peter raises his hand.

He's ignored as John shakes his head, "But that doesn't make it okay! I am your father. I should be protecting you! You shouldn't have to be dealing with this and having a crazy monster who should be dead, the only one to console you!"

Peter was going to say something snarky at the man calling him a monster, but he relented. The Sheriff had a point.

"I didn't want you to be anymore stressed," Stiles reasoned.

"And what of Scott? Lydia? Your 'Pack'?"

"It wasn't their problem."

"Like hell it wasn't! You shouldn't have to deal with this kind of thing alone! "

"I wanted to be alone!"

"No one wants to be alone. "

"I'd rather be alone than have whatever the hell is in my head! "

"But its not going to make it stop! Being alone isn't going to stop whatever is going on Stiles! It will only make it worse. It will only end up hurting you! Causing a rift with the people who really do care!"

Stiles was face to face with his father. Both standing and glaring at each other as they shouted. There was no actual anger in the argument. Only frustration, desperation, fear, and sadness.

The stench cocktail filling Peters nose.

Another person came in through the clinic door causing all the men to look towards it.

A beautiful dark skinned woman looked passively, if anything amused, at them all.

"Am I interrupting something?"


	15. Blurry's The One Im Not

Ms. Morrell stood next to her brother. She wore a simple black t-shirt and black pants with boots. Her hair fell past her shoulders, straight as a pin.

"Thank you for coming Marin. I believe this would have been more for your line of work," Deaton said with a sense of relaxation at being near his younger sister.

The School counselor smiled, "Anything for Mr. Stilinski here. Now tell me what it is that I need to 'help' with."

"Your not a supernatural creature are you?" John asked stepping near Stiles.

He knew about it all, with the whole Nogitsune debacle, it was impossible to keep anything from him anymore. But he was still a little jumpy around new people who seemed to know about the things that go bump in the night.

Ms. Morrell just smiles kindly at him, "Sheriff, I promise you I am not a creature. I am an Emissary. One who connects the human world to the supernatural. Im also the school counselor. Hello again Stiles. "

John nods and Stiles steps out from behind him.

The teen turns to Deaton, "Do you think shell be able to help?"

Deaton nodded, "I do believe she can help. I have an idea as to what is happening to you. But my sister would be best to help take care of it."

"And what is 'it'?" John asks crossing his arms.

Deaton looks at him, Stiles, and Peter, "I have reason to believe that Stiles is slowly rejecting a poison that is trying to change him. That is what causes each episode."

"A poison? "

Deaton nods to Peter, "When the Nogitsune was possessing Stiles," The three of them tensed, "It was leaving traces of itself. Nogitsune spirits do this to all their hosts."

"Where did you learn all this?" Stiles interrupted.

"From me," Kira said coming into the clinic followed by Lydia and Malia who each held papers and books, "Well, not so much _me_ as my mom and my ancestors."

"Care to elaborate?" Stiles asks tiredly rubbing his temples.

Malia stepped up to him, "How are you feeling? "

Stiles waves away her worry and mouthed 'I'm fine'.

She looked at him doubtfully and glanced at Peter who was staring at Deaton.

"Well, when a Nogitsune is possessing someone. They choose their host wisely. They don't just do it randomly. It chose you Stiles, for a reason. When they are possessing someone they are corrupting the body and transforming it into a Nogitsune itself. So that it will have a body. That Nogitsune-"

"Void," Stiles said distractedly and all of them looked at him weirdly.

"Void, was changing your body while we fought it. It didn't get to finish, so when it was dispelled from you and put in that box, it left the traces of itself that was already embedded into your body. Now that Void is gone, your body is trying to reject the Nogitsunes residue."

"What's all that mean?" Stiles asks not putting the pieces together. His head hurt, he was tired, and he just wanted to sleep.

For a couple years maybe. That sounded good.

Lydia rolls her eyes, "Oh my god, it means that Void left a peice of itself in you and your body is trying to get it out."

"And the left over Void is trying to get you to accept it. Instead of reject," Deaton says trying to clear up any confusion.

Stiles looks confused, "What happens if I accept?"

Kira shook her head and pulled out a paper giving it to Stiles, "Nothing good."

The paper had a picture of a humanoid creature with large ears and fuzzy tail. A long nose and fire coming out of it's clawed hands like magic. It looked kind of like a more animalistic version of a werewolf when wolfed out. Bodies laid around its feet- bloody, mangled, and dismembered- and darkness swallowed the world around it. It was complete chaos.

Stiles looked up at them with fearful eyes, "This could happen to me?"

"We don't really know," Kira says softly, "But that's what happens when a Nogitsune is fully merged with its host."

"Since its not in you anymore, we don't know what will happen," Lydia provides next.

Stiles is silent for a. Moment before speaking, "it's only ever guilty merged once though right? So you aren't sure I'd that is what happens to all of them."

"Sure, but Stiles, it's a Nogitsune, nothing good ever come from them," Kira said seriously user uncertainly.

"How do I reject it? Get it out?" Stiles questions with a gulp.

Deaton nodded towards Ms. Morrell, "Marin is going to hypnotize you. We can't do the ice in the water thing again due to the fact that it's what actually caused all this."

"So you're going to send me into my own subconscious? "

"While there you will have to find the darkness that the Nog- Void, left inside you before it corrupts more of you."

Stiles nods to himself, "I think I could do that. I mean ho-"

The large blare of Beethoven rang through the room and Lydia sighed pulling out her phone. A perfect eyebrow rose as she pressed answer.

"Ethan?" She questioned. Stiles could hear the ex-alphas frantic voice coming through the receiver. Though he couldn't understand word for word, he didn't doubt Kira, Malia and Peter could.

He hoped that the Pack was alright.

"Guys, we need to go they need back up. The Strykers are attacking. Full force and even Scott's struggling," Lydia said fear laced in her voice as she tucked her phone away again.

"Wait what?" Stile's dad asks.

Stiles looks at his dad, "Dad, go to the station and put out a APB on any out of townee in the forest. "

"Stiles-"

"Your Deputy, Parrish, is there too. Collateral." Malia adds also and John Stilinski's face goes pale.

"Dad," Stiles rests a hand on his fathers arm, " _Go_. "

The Sheriff nods at his sons desperate eyes and leaves the room quickly.

"We should head out too," Kira adds.

Deaton nods, "Thank you for providing the resources that you could. Let your mother know I am grateful. I pray you win this battle."

"Wait I'm going to! " Stiles says jumping up.

Peter hold his arm in a firm yet gentle grasp, "No, you're not. You are going to stay here and do what Deaton and Ms. Morrell tell you to."

Stiles protests, "What? NO! You guys cant go into battle without me! What if someone gets hurt! I'm valuable, I can work Mountain ash and Wolfsbane. "

"Lydia, darling," Peter glances at the teenage girl, "Will you stay with him?"

She nods without hesitation. Peter nods back and he and Malia leave the room, but not before hugging Stiles and letting him know everything would be okay.

"Yeah right. You guys are going to die," Stiles says sarcastically.

Deaton claps his hands making Stiles jump up in to the air, "Lets get started shall we?"

"Wow, " Stiles snorts and sits back on the metal examination table, "No foreplay huh?"

Deaton goes about, pulling out a syringe and some sort if liquid from a questionable box with questionable symbols from above the medication cabinet.

He sets them on the tool tray while Ms. Morrell puts on gloves and motions for Stiles to lie down.

"Now, when you go under you are going to look for something out of the ordinary. Try not to meddle so deep that you get lost. I won't be able to bring you back then. When you want to be brought back say pokeepsie."

Stiles raises an eye brow, "First of all, you are being a great help. Second, Pokeepsie?"

Lydia rolls her eyes and take his hand. He smiles softly in thanks.

"Stiles, what your about to experience will hurt immensely. The physical and psychological pain will be almost unbearable," Ms. Morrell tells him as she grabs the syringe and fills it with a dark blue substance that looked like the night sky in liquid form. She positions it into his arm, "But remember what I said about what you do when you're going through hell?"

Stiles looks from her to Lydia and nods, Ms. Morrell plunges the liquid into his blood stream as he looks at the ceiling if the clinic and finishes the phrase.

"Keep on going."

With the pack... 

Scott growled as he jumped out of the way at a swipe from the female betas claws.

These guys weren't letting up; they meant business.

"I can see why your an Alpha now. Your resilient," Sylvia snarled through her fangs. She, him, and all the other wolves were in their beta forms.

Scott ignored her and made to kick her in the stomach. She anticipated it and blocked, punching him the thigh making him howl in pain as his bone snapped.

A few feet away Derek was fighting two younger betas while Issac hid behind a tree keeping a pair of unlucky unconscious campers safe from the others.

Ethan fought their packmates English teacher, Mr. Tennent who happened to be a Emissary with ti-k won-do expertise. He defiantly held his own against the ex-alpha.

The surprise on Scott's face was priceless to Scott Sanders and his girlfriend, a werewolf named Angela. She happened to be one of the three who fought him and West the night Liam was turned.

West had just so happened to disappear when Stiles was unconscious.

Derek had tried to get in contact with the Gardener pack but was unlucky.

He couldn't believe that they had just abandoned them. He couldn't smell them anywhere, except for Wests lingering smell on Scott. He thought that the Gardener pack was trustworthy and noble, their alpha was a respectable one that Derek had even dared to admire.

Like hell he admired the coward now.

The sound of a honk coming from a few meters away signaled that Peter Malia, and Kira had arrived.

"Whats going on with Stiles?" Scott asked as he limped over to Peter as Malia attacked Sylvia so he could heal up his leg.

"Ms. Morrell is going to send him to his mind. This is a battle he has to fight on his own." HE said with a grim look on his face.

Scott pinched his eyebrows together. He wasn't so sure that was a good idea. Based on what he was told by Deaton, Malia and Peter, Stiles' mind wasn't the safest place, and they were sending him in on his own.

A hand landed on his shoulder and he looked up to see Peter, the older were giving him a look of understanding, "He'll be okay. Hes strong, stronger than any of us know."

Scott nodded.

A howl made them all freeze. It wasn't one they recognized. But apparently the other team did.

They stopped fighting and, without a word, retreated.

"Wait, what the fuck?" Malia asked annoyed as Sylvia smirked at her and ran away with a sarcastic wave.

"That's their alpha," Derek said as he shifted back to normal. He turned to his packmates, "We should go back, we have to prepare for a war."

The pack looked at each other worried.

 _ **Authors note**_

 _ **Let me say...**_

 _ **imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry**_

 _ **and finally-**_

 _ **ims or sorry its been so long, i swear i havent forgotten you guys, i have been writing its just been in spurts, like paragraphs and im stil iffy on how exactly i want to end the story since its so close, and im not sure when ill be able to post the sequal...**_

 _ **if you want to get ahead on**_ **Goner** _ **, you can go to my wattpad which just happens to get updated mnore than fanfic since i have the wattpad app and write on it then transfer to this website.**_

 _ **Im super excited tho fro whats comming so be ready guys.**_

 _ **ALSO!**_

 _ **i am in my last year of the big ol' HIGH SCHOOL! so i have alot on my plate with colleges, ACT, SAT, graduation... and trust me there is alot of shit that goes with it UGGGGGGGG.**_

 _ **So do know that i ahvent forgotten my baby... ill just have a little slow and weird updates... theres only like a few chapters left.**_

 _ **COME ON! you guys can make it!**_

 _ **also, Ive started watching Riverdale and OMFG, i love it... of course i was a huge fan of the archie comics before but teh show is pretty good... not as good as id have hoped and like, tno way do those kids, who drink, go to CLUBS, nad all this BS as high school SOPHMORES!**_

 _ **if yall wanna talk to me, follow me or get ahold of me on Twitter-**_

 _ **queen_siyera**_

 _ **Love you guys... you are the reason i do this, love yall**_

 _ **3**_


	16. Don't let me be gone

_**Wholly shiz guys im so sorry. I am a terrible writer. sorry. i didnt even notice it was like this when i posted it for the first time. Im sorry guys... fudge. anyway... ive fixed it. again sorry.**_

They stood in front of the old run down hotel that their enemies were staying in. It looked like it was condemned. The roof had a hole in it, the bars were rusty orange color, the parking lot was over grown with weeds and plants. The building as a whole needed a touch up of paint as well as repairs. It had a private property warning sign on the gate surrounding it.

The person in front of the group sniffed the air, "They know we're here."

The door of one of the hotel rooms swung open making the group tense, ready for action. This was it.

"Well, well, well, look who finally decide to show their cowardly faces," a smooth voice sneered as a beautiful woman walked out. She was flanked by three 'weres; two from the incident in the preserve that resulted in Liam.

Derek and Scott growled simultaneously, "You're the ones that have been waiting for us to make a move."

Sylvia scoffed, "And to think you made us wait this long. Where's your new little beta True Alpha? Not ready to go out and play with the big kids?"

"This doesn't involve him," Scott defended, shifting to his own beta form.

Sylvia and her lackeys followed suit, "Oh? What about your human friend? The crazy one? Oh yes, we know all about the Void. The whole supernatural world does. Its an amazing feat to be able to survive a Nogitsune possession."

"That not what we are here for. Get out of Beacon Hills or we will force you out," Derek says through his fangs.

Sylvia throws her head back in a bone chilling laugh, "Aw look at the failed Alpha making commands. How exactly do you expect to _make_ us do anything?"

Derek growls and almost takes a step forward before Scott speaks instead, "We will give you one last chance. Leave, or you may not get out alive."

"Yes! That's what I'm talking about! Take action, spill some blood! You better fulfill your promises, True Alpha," Sylvia says with a sinister half-crazed smile.

Scott glanced at Derek who nodded. Derek glanced at Malia, Peter, Issac, Ethan, Kira and Chris. They all looked ready for battle.

Kira had out her katana, and a fire lit in her eyes. Peter, Issac, Ethan, and Malia, were all shifted, eyes glowing yellows and blues. Chris had a huge gun in both hands, ready to take a shot.

Derek felt bad that these kids had to go battle once again. They shouldn't be going to war against other lacks. They should be worried about homework, dating, what college they are going to go to.

These kids had to grow up fast. Just like him.

He took a deep breath.

He will defeat these wolves, he will save Stiles, and no one is going to die this time.

Sylvia howled a small howl and the doors to the Motel opened and stepped out the rest of their pack. Scott and their Alpha, and their emissary Mr. Tennant.

Scott room a deep breath and howled. It rang in the air and it was obvious what it was. A battle cry.

Their pack howl'd in reply before they all charged.

 _Stiles_

Stiles felt light. His brain was so calm and silent. He felt like nothing could touch him.

He opened his eyes and saw the grey color of a popcorn ceiling above him. He felt soft sheets under him and covering him. He took a deep breath and smelt the musk of who he realized was Derek natural scent.

It was so prominent he scrunched his nose is confusion and inhaled more.

He smelt like smoky wood chips, and leather. It calmed his body, in a way that felt natural and in sync with his mind. It was an amazing feeling he'd never felt before due to his ADHD and chaotic life.

He sat up and looked around.

Apparently he was in a bed room. A book case sat on the left far wall, next to it a desk that had a photo of a young Derek, Cora and who he assumed was Laura. Next to that photo was another more recent of Boyd, Issac, and Erica smiling with a glumly looking Derek. In front of the bed, hanging on the wall was a large 50" flat screen TV that looked oddly out of place in the simple room.

He moved the blankets and let his legs fall off the bed. He was in the clothes he was in before, while at Deatons.

He looked at the clock in the bedside table and saw it was almost four in the afternoon. He wondered how long he'd been out.

He stood and stumbled slightly from being immobile. He stretched and heard his back crack loudly and sighed.

He walked slowly towards the door.

It was silent in the hall but he could hear someone moving around farther in the apartment.

He heard two people talking the closer he got to the living room.

"Apparently they have yet to meet the Alpha of the Stryker pack," he heard his dads voice tell someone.

"That's odd. Usually when two packs confront, the alphas have a face-off," he heard Ms. Morrell tell his dad.

He walked in and saw his father and Ms. Morrell sitting on the couch with mugs in their hands. Melissa was seen in the kitchen cooking something.

His father stood quickly when he entered the room, "Your awake!"

His dad ran to him, mug hazardously set on the edge of the side table. Stiles held his father just as tight as his father held him. It felt like it was so long since he felt another actual human being warmth. His dad smelt like old books and coffee, it filled his senses, it felt like going home.

"I knew you'd make it," the older man whispered in his ear. Stiles felt the warm wetness land on his shoulder from where his dad had tears falling. He himself had to clench his eyes shut, to keep from tears trailing down his own face.

He knew that why they did was risky. There was a good chance that Stiles wouldn't have survived. Especially with how the Void acted. He didn't want to think about what would have happened if he didn't wake up.

"How did you come back?" Ms. Morrell asked standing with a fearful and confused face.

Stiles looked at her calmly, "I fixed it. I'm okay now, the Void is gone."

His father looked happy about the revelation but the ex-counselor looked suspicious. There was more he wasn't telling them, and she knew it.

Stiles gaze met hers and they didn't speak for a few seconds. Marin was trying to find something but all she saw was a teenagers honey brown eyes, they had a light in them that wasn't there before he went under.

Finally they broke it off when Melissa came in.

"Stiles! " the nurse ran and gave the spotted teen a huge hug. Stiles returned the hug fullheartedly.

When they separated stiles smiled, before noticing no-one else was there, "Where is everyone?"

"They went to fight the Stryker pack," the sheriff told.

Stiles must have shown his confusion because ms. Morrell sat down and said, "You might want to sit down, there's a lot you've missed."

Stiles sat on the couch, Melissa on one side, his dad on the other, "How long was I out?"

"About half a week" his father answers.

Ms. Morrell asks, "How did you get back? You shouldn't have been able to with out my help."

Stiles thought for a moment. Should he tell them what happened? Hell, _he's_ not even sure what happened. All he knows is that he's calmer than he's been in years, and he's not hearing voices anymore.

"Well, the Void, made me relive some memories," he smiled sadly at the thought of the forgotten memory of his mother, "I wasn't going to get out of there alive, I- I knew that. So I did what I had to, so i could come back to you guys, to the pack, and I'm all better. Don't worry, I'm not Void."

There was silence as the adults tried to process what the teen was trying to say. Stiles knew he was being vague, but he wasn't really sure how to tell them 'I excepted the Nogitsune residue and now I'm something that I'm not really sure of'.

Yeah, that probably wouldn't go well.

Ms. Morrell narrowed her eyes watching him, as if seeing into his thoughts. God he hoped not, "I see. Well, now that you're better, we should probably try to help Derek and the others."

Stiles didn't know what the ex-emissary knew but was glad she didn't say anything.

"Are we able to?" Melissa asked, "I mean, I'm all for going and kicking some ass, but it's a war between packs, what exactly are we going to be able to do?"

Ms. Morrell smirked, "Mr. Stilinski has his guns, I have mountain ash and mistletoe, among other things. You would be very helpful as a healer for the wounded."

Stiles shifted, "What about me?"

Sheriff Stilinski shook his head giving his son a hard stare, "No way. You're not fighting. You just went woke up, you're not ready."

Stiles made an indignant noise of annoyance. No fair!

"You can go to the Ito pack and get more allies. I don't think the Stryker packs alone, and the Gardner packs not enough," Ms. Morrell said to Stiles who nodded.

The two parents glared at the dark skinned woman, "You didn't tell the others that!" The sheriff growled.

Ms. Morrell leveled him with a calm gaze, "I have been meditating and I felt more than just the Stryker pack only twenty minuets ago. I was going to get the Ito pack myself before Stiles woke up."

The sheriff grumbled to himself and Melissa pat him on the back with an encouraging smile.

"Yeah okay, you guys go, I'll go get the Ito pack!" Stiles made his way to the door but stopped mid-step. He turned around and asked sheepishly, "Who's the Ito pack?"

Stiles made his way to the preserve where his old counselor said an alpha resided. She apparently had a pack that was in hiding.

He didn't understand why she was in hiding or why she hid when Derek and the pack started to raise their wolfy heads. But apparently they would be enough to help them in their cause. If he can convince them to help. Their alpha Satomi Ito apparently was very old and didn't like getting into pack politics. She didn't like fighting and would prefer not to have to. But that is all old information since the ex-emissary hadn't heard from the Ito pack for years.

So now here he was, walking in the chilled air towards a supposed cabin in the preserve that Satomi stays in, or used to at least.

He sighed.

He should be out there helping defend his pack from evil werewolves. He should be fighting for his friends. Instead he's in the middle of no where looking for a pack that probably isn't even there anymore.

He tripped slightly over a branch that was conveniently in the middle of his walkway.

He find its strange that even though he has the Nogitsune in him he is still just as clumsy, though in a graceful way based on how his dad glanced at him in awe, as he was before. Isn't being a supernatural being supposed to make him like, different? Other than the fact that his ADHD isn't bothering him as much, he feels no different.

Suddenly hes brought out of his thoughts by a growl.

He froze waiting for something. What? He didn't know, but he was getting a feeling. And he assumes its a sense that his Nogitsune probably feels, more than him.

In quicker than a flash he turns around snarling- weird- glaring at a handsome kid about a year two younger than himself. He was blond tall and muscular in a way Stiles appreciated, which he thought was SO not the time.

"What are you doing here?" the kid sniffed the air before his eyes went a bright yellow showing his Beta status, "This is Ito pack territory, state your business."

Stiles calmed and stood straight relaxing, "Oh, uh, I'm Stiles Stilinski, of the McCall pack, um, I'm here to speak to your Alpha?"

He wasn't sure why he was being so timid. It's not like he has done anything to warrant the werewolf to kill him.

The were' shifted back into his human form before looking at Stiles with narrowed eyes, "You're one of the humans from Liam's lacrosse team. Only you're not so human now are you?"

Stiles looked slightly confused, "Uh, sure."

The other teen rolled his eyes in annoyance. Why? Stiles didn't do anything -He didn't think- and started to walk away. Stiles assumed he was suppose to follow him.

It was silent as they walked. Stiles didn't know what to say so he just watched his surroundings. It was unusually silent in this part of the preserve. Where were all the animals? The insects? There should be birds chirping, crickets singing, squirrels nutting. Was nutting a word? Do squirrels nut?

He was pulled from his thoughts when he bumped into a suddenly still teen in front of him. He glanced over the shoulder of the slightly taller boy and saw a large wooden fence guarded by a young girl, a year or two younger than the were' in front of him.

"That the intruder?" The girl asked curious.

The blond growled, "Yeah, he wants to see Satomi."

The girls eyebrows went up in surprise, and she started to open the gate doors assuming that it was safe since the older teen had brought him back to their den.

"Follow me. Don't wander. Or we won't hold back," Stiles shivered slightly at the weres' threat.

"So, I didn't catch your name," Stiles said casually.

"Brett," the were' said annoyed as they walked. He didn't look at Stiles and it kind of annoyed Stiles himself. The guy can't even make eye contact when introducing himself? Asshole.

Brett stopped in front of a cabin and knocked. Stiles heard a faint voice say, "Come in," and then followed Brett into the cabin.

Inside was dark and smelt of incense. It was calming. Smoke hung at the roof of the cabin as a small fire was in the center, a pot with something cooking over it. There was a small hole in the corner of the roof, a bucket under it in case it rained. Or so Stiles assumed.

Sitting near the fire on a pillow sewing something Stiles didn't know what- was a old woman who looked to be in her fifties. But when she looked up to see the two visitors stiles saw the wisdom in her eyes. Eyes older than any mere fifty four years her body showed.

Her eyes glowed red and her fangs appeared, "Nogitsune."

Stiles tensed.

Brett spoke, "Alpha, This is Stiles Stilinski of the McCall pack. He requested your presence."

Satomi narrowed her eyes and stood walking to Stiles who held his head high and met her stare head on. He was not going to back down. This was for the pack.

"Alpha Satomi, I come on behalf of the McCall pack requesting your alliance and backup in battle against the an enemy pack," he recited what Ms. Morrell had told him to say. Be respectful, and official ,like a professional Emissary.

Which he wasn't, but Satomi didn't need to know that.

"Why would I have my pack help someone who is a Dark Kitsune?" She sneered. Stiles wondered what was her problem. He'd have to ask Kira and her mom about that. _Just add it to the list_ , he told himself.

"Please," he asked letting a desperate tone slip into his voice, "The Supreme pack has come and my pack can't fight them on their own-"

"Supreme Pack?" Satomi asked her face shifting back to human, worry and fear in her own voice. Stiles looked slightly confused but nodded none the less, "And they are here for your pack?"

Stiles made a face, "Kind of. They uh, want to use the Nemeton. But we need to defeat them and can't do it on our own. They have backup. We have the Gardner pack but Marin Morrell said that it wouldn't be enough and to request your assistance."

Satomi glanced at Brett who shared a look with her. They had a silent conversation before Satomi's face hardened, "No, we will not help you. We have fought them before, and we lost... It costed us our whole pack. Only five survived. We can not handle another fight. I decline your request."

Stiles panicked slightly, "Please! I believe we really have a chance to defeat them with your packs help!"

"Five werewolves, one of them not even old enough to be able to control her shift, will make a difference? No."

Stiles was about to go into a full panic. Which was surprising since he wasn't going into panic about anything related to the Nogitsune or Allison... Or his guilt.

"Your just afraid!" he spoke before he knew what he was doing. And he immediately regretted it. Especially after the looks he got from both Satomi and Brett. But for some reason he couldn't stop, "You're just going to hide while the Supreme pack takes down another pack? Become more powerful? You don't think they know that you're out here somewhere? Its not going to be long after we are defeated that they find you and finish the job. You're just going to let it happen? Why not fight? Fight for yourself, for your fallen pack mates! Don't hide, and run! Don't be sitting ducks waiting for the slaughter! Fight and make a difference! Avenge those fallen at their claws! Please!"

He felt kind of bad for calling the Alpha out on her cowardice, but it needed to be said. Hiding from fear of whats going to happen, running and hiding from your problems. It doesn't solve anything. You have to fight and take charge yourself, if you want it to change.

He understood himself a little bit more too now.

He couldn't just hide from his guilt, he couldn't let it swallow him. Even if it was just the Nogitsune getting to him. He couldn't let it win. And even now he won't let it win. He won't hide from what's inside himself. He will try to embrace it and take it a step at a time. And he will fight against the darkness, instead of hide it away, or run from it.

Just like Satomi.

Satomi could see the passion the boy had. He was speaking from experience, and the fact that she can sense the dark energy she sensed decades ago as well, it made sense. If this boy could overcome his own fear. She could too.

She would do whats right, even if it scared the hell out of her.

She glanced at her beta Brett. He asked her what shes thinking with his eyes, and she sent him a look he understood immediatly and he was proud of his Alpha for her strength.

"Fine. We shall help your pack," Satomi said pulling Stiles out of his self revelation.

He smiled thankfully. Maybe this won't be so bad.

"Great, lets go kick some werewolf ass!" he said with a smirk.

 _I had to do some research about season four so i could keep up with some of the stuff i thought was sort of important._

 _I realized also that Malia finds out she is Peters daughter in season four so idk if i'm going to make that be in this story or the sequal... Which is still on btw._

 _Idk how long it will take to make it and start it up but it is a go._

 _Anyway, hope u guys enjoyed, review, message, like, favorite, follow or whatever you do._

 _I also have a new tumblr that is WAY BETTER than my old, so yeah, follow me for more fanfictions and fanarts, and fandoming and just to talk._

 _Its: adashofshuttheheckup_

 _Again, I'm sorry about the last update of this chapter. Lifes been kicking my ass, and i havent been able to revise any of my works recently. I'm busy writing essays and not so much fanfiction. i don't have a computer at my beck and call anymore, and I've found writing on my phone a hassle, due to the fact that i suck at grammar and spelling and revising on the phone is bs. i dont need a beta, i have a friend who checks over my stuff for grammar errors._

 _thanks for hanging on with me on this guys._

 _-smak101 AKA : Bear_


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